I have been trying to find work for over four years now.

Attended a few interviews, yet nothing happens.

I have a loving Parent who care for me.

I feel miserable being a stay-at-home bachelor not because I want to but because I can’t find any work that suits me.

In fact, lately, I have been applying for any kind of jobs and still nothing happens.

I feel so ashamed that I feel like I want to die, so I do not talk about this to anyone.

I live in a country where I made few good friends, but they all have their own issues too.

I miss my family and I am avoiding to call lately because I don’t want them to know how sad I really feel.

I am in my early 30s and I have a great educational background. I have worked all my life to get what I have and be where I am…until this…

I always thought that people who fall into depression were weak and those who committed suicide were insanely selfish.

I never believed that an emotional pain could be strong enough to create the genuine need to kill oneself.

Lately, the only reason that prevented me  not to  go through with killing myself is the love I have for my friends, parents and  siblings.

How selfish would that be.

Right now I feel so worthless as a person in the society because I do nothing to contribute.

I live in a beautiful city with gorgeous beaches and landscapes but even that I can’t fully appreciate the beauty anymore.

I do exercise, read and I’m outside a lot (I do feel better when I am distracted doing those things) but the relief is only temporary.

I don’t know what else to do.

Written by:

Kogwuonye patrick onyeka



Credited to:

All depressed fellows

All unemployed youths



  1. Good one. I am a budding therapist and I will second your thoughts when you say people who commit suicide are weak. Most of them are so helpless and have been dealt with such a bad deal that its very hard to make a comeback. I hope a robust suicide monitoring and support system is developed to help and empower people.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You are young and I know all things seem bad right now, but you’ve already mentioned the fact that you love your parents, friends, and siblings! That’s more than some people have, I promise. Please hang on to the positive in that while the other items get worked out. Since you haven’t been able to find a job (which is so very hard!) maybe you should start your own business doing what you love to do? You mentioned being outdoors makes you feel a little better. Can you become a dog walker or landscaper? I’d love to help you if I can. Please visit my blog and let’s become friends. I’m here for you, as corny as that sounds! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you! I appreciate your thoughtful comment on this post.

      Your beautiful comment and agreement to this post on my blog just made my morning
      I found delight love in what you just said on my  post.

      I posted it almost 2years ago, when I had some depression that period. Am out of it now.

      Am happy you took your time to analyse and read my work.

      I will try and reach you out on your blog so we talk about it.

      Thanks one more time.

      You welcome

      Peace ✌and Love ❤

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you! I appreciate your thoughtful response.

          Such an awesome way of replying someone. Thanks. Again
          As always your posts are incredible and I enjoying reading every word down till the last line. I must say that you are probably one of the excellent bloggers on WordPress that write inspired

          Also, I just posted:


          Would love to know your views. Love to see your contributions on it. I’m always excited for your comment. 🙂

          You are welcome

          Peace ✌and Love ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Get a job in telemarketing. It’s a shit job but it will teach you more about people than every college course you can imagine combined. Or maybe you should start your own business. Get a bucket and a squeegee and do windows on businesses or private homes. Buy some pot if you can. It helps a lot with depression. Killing yourself is stupid. What you are today may not be who you are tomorrow. You learn more from failure than success so learn from your failures and build on them. You are a man. Fuck your feelings and make your luck. Edison failed thousands of times and yet he learned from those failures and never give up. As long as you have breath to breath you can change your stars. If you can do nothing else busy yourself with helping others. There are a lot of people out there just like you. Sometimes in helping others we help ourselves even more. Go to church, pray to Jesus and take control of your life.


    1. Oh am touch by this comment. This blew me away. Thank you for taking the time to share these contribution/views through these words in your comment.

      These words you said in your comment are painted in truth, experience and perspective. I especially love how you started it
      and how you ended the comment.

      Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with people

      This produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.

      Thanks for that kind words(Kudos to you!!)

      You are welcome

      Peace ✌and Love ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Creative Writing Course and commented:
    Hi Patrick
    Thanks for the follow *, as the reason I write is to share.
    * (Though my family and close friends say it would be far more entertaining with a video-camera # in “real life”, rather than in cyberspace!)
    # By the way, do they still make them in today’s ever-faster changing world..or is it all done with mobile phones?
    (get with the times now,”luddite”* c – it should be a smart phone)
    * or so I was often called by my “my techno-geek” friend, Bill (“the gonk”)
    “total non-techno” c (who doesn’t possess a mobile phone, after a rather eventful’ experience some years back, whilst trying to walk, talk and chew gum at the same time)
    Who says men can’t multi-task!
    Kind regards
    “You will do foolish things…but do them with enthusiasm.”
    – Colette
    Best wishes from the First City to see the sun (in summer) …and we’re also the first to see the sunset and the stars (in winter-time)
    “I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for the reblog. I appreciate that very much.

    This was something very different and yet perfectly related to. The choice of words and metaphors is wonderful and makes everything seem so realistic.

    I could feel my thought moisten while reading some lines. What a masterpiece!! Kudos to you!!

    At the end of the day. Am happy for such touching comment.

    You are welcome Mr Craig Lock

    Peace ✌and Love ❤


  6. I hope you’re feeling better since you published this article/poem. I understand quite a bit as my husband was depressed. He would say he had to force himself out of the house. Once he got out, he felt better…but it was hard to force himself out. Hope that helps. (((hugs)))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for showing concern on my health. I appreciate that very much.

      Being open and honest with people about living with depression is so difficult when they don’t know what to do at that particular time. I really admire the outlook/description(Once he got out, he felt better) you gave me.

      I have grown above it now. When am depress I know what to pass through. it sounds like it would be easy for you to just give up and not plan things at all – it shows a lot of courage to overcome it.

      I’m glad and I hope that things will get more manageable with time. Right now am doing so well.

      Thanks for the amazing comment.

      You are welcome Mrs Nike Chillemi

      Peace ✌and Love ❤


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