PATRICK VIEW: A SPECIAL FRIEND AND THEIR QUALITIES

 

Everybody has that special person they call they special friend who is always around to talk and chat with.

From my views, i was able to note some specific things i found in that my special friend.

Here goes an analogy about that special person i call my special friend.

*******************************

Last time you were here we felt a different atmosphere couldn’t recover from the feeling of your smile.

Then I watched out for you the next Sunday, I Prayed Monday to Saturday that I may see that beautiful smile in you.

Then today, so anxious as I ponder in my heart about you. If only I could see your smile and your face i feel at ease. I looked up aimlessly into the clouds. A call might have at least confirmed my doubt

Then I saw you being ushered in like a royalty and coming toward me.How I jumped and screamed in my mind “My special friend is coming”.

It is fun , just when you’re here everything changes for good.

It is fun when we shout, sing, scream and rejoice together.

It is fun, when we talked about life and prosperity

It is fun My friend, just when you’re here i feel ease and i feel like talking to you all through.

**************************************

Here are some pictures related quotes  that shows some analogy of that trustworthy, honest, and loyal special friend.

1. “The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.” – Hubert H. Humphrey

2. “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” – Elbert Hubbard

3. “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” – Henry Ford

4. “The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.” – Henry David Thoreau

5. “True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.”

6. “Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” – Mencius

7. “Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you”, and proved it.”

8.   “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” – Helen Keller

9.  “F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Fight for you. Respect you. Include you. Encourage you. Need you. Deserve you. Stand by you.”

10. “Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious.” – Thomas Aquinas

With the above pictures related quote am able to cover some areas why you have that special friend.

QUALITIES OF A SPECIAL FRIEND


What is the key to maintaining quality relationships, especially in today’s hurried world?


After years of personal research on the topic of friendship, I have discovered a pattern of qualities that we can follow to keep a good friendship/relationship.

Here are the top 5 friendship ingredients that have surfaced over the years. I encourage you to consider these qualities in light of your current friendship and relationship.


1. They are loyal.

2. Always a positive person.

3. They  Build on common interests.

4. They are  open, honest, and real.

5. They are giver, not a taker




1. THEY ARE LOYAL

Loyalty is an essential quality in any close relationship. It’s a strong assurance of another person.  Whether it be in work, business, family, friendship or a relationship, loyalty builds from specific characteristics.

HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE A TRULY LOYAL RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP –


 a. A LOYAL RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPORTIVE

A loyal person will reach out to you when you need them.  They care enough to stay aware, and take action when they know you need a pick-me-up, or just a little reminder to stay on track.


b. A LOYAL RELATIONSHIP IS RESPECTFUL


A loyal person will be respectful of you away from your presence. They will decline the opportunity to spread gossip, and may even deliver a serious message, sharing their opinion of gossiping with the people doing it.


c. A LOYAL RELATIONSHIP IS TRUSTWORTHY

A loyal person will share their honest opinion (even if it’s not always what you want to hear).  Sometimes, they want to share their experience with you, hoping that it will give you insight and help you follow your best path. In a relationship, a loyal person loves you (and only you) fully and completely.

d. A LOYAL RELATIONSHIP IS SINCERE

A truly loyal person is always sincere. They show very subtle, yet powerful signs that they care. You’ll find that they are faithful in a way that they show up during the good times and the bad times. Loyal people are supportive (even loving) for no other reason than that they care.


e. LOYAL RELATIONSHIP HAS INTEGRITY

When one does what is right by their own personal values and morals, and is also supported by societal norms, that’s integrity. They are kind. They properly care for themselves and others around them. In fact, they are known for it.

When a person with high integrity makes a mistake they will apologize, and you’ll find they generally won’t repeat it. It’s important to them to uphold their good character and moral righteousness.

2. ALWAYS A POSITIVE PERSON



According to Cambridge dictionary –  the word positive means

full of hope and confidence, or giving cause for hope and confidence

So, here are a few of the traits I believe a positive friend embodies more often than not.  A positive Friend:

a. Forgives easily.

b. Is thankful for all blessings, big and small.

c. Is optimistic and expects good things will happen.

d. Avoids complaining and gossiping.

e. Smiles, hugs and laughs with anyone, even strangers.

f. Tolerant and accepts people for who they are.

g. Helps others and gives back.



h. Spreads joy intentionally.

i. Accepts his or her mistakes, and is comfortable saying “I’m sorry.”

j. Has fun every day.


3. THEY BUILD ON COMMON INTEREST

Common – Interest friends are friends that a person has and keeps in contact with because of a shared interest, hobby, activity, club, etc. In some ways, a common interest friend is similar to a teammate: you interact with that person frequently due to practice and game schedules, and you are likely cordial to each other.

Here are some qualities to note about if you have a friend that share common interest:

a. You’re both present.


b. You truly want the best for each other.


c. You can laugh with each other — over the silliest things.


c. You’re willing to answer each other’s calls any time, day or night.


d. You’re honest enough to call each other out.


e. You can pick up exactly where you left off even after a long absence.

4. THEY ARE OPEN , HONEST AND REAL

With this in mind, I recently asked on Facebook, “What does it mean to be a and honest friend?”

I pool in to different groups on Facebook who share my same idea of the questions.


I compiled some of the ideas that I saw in the comments of some people in the groups. So I accepted ten strongly ease. 


Here’s what uniqueresearching was able to bring out:


1. Always be there, even in silence. (Nerrisa Nam)


2. Be kind and listen. Be fun and light. Be serious when needed, love extensively, and forgive always. (Sandra Lumb)


3. Don’t be scared to tell each other the truth, no matter how difficult it may be. (Eva Valencia)


4. Guide each other in times of need with your honest opinions. (Ashna Singh)


5. A true friend is someone who always listens and is genuinely interested in the good and bad, and someone who calls or writes just to say hello. (Kimberly McCarthy)


6. Be loyal in confidence and character, always open and inviting to share concerns, always honest even if you disagree. (Peggy Turner Beatty)


7. A true friend tries his best to cheer you up when you are upset and makes you feel special. (Kalpana Tewani)


8. Try and improve their life though your friendship. (Barry Cassidy)


9. Be who you truly are, be that vulnerable, and provide the other person the space, safety and choice to do the same. (Cynthia Ruprecht Hunt)


10. Be genuinely happy when they get, receive, or achieve something you truly desire. (Heather Tucker)


11. Share the truth in your heart, without the fear of misunderstandings. (Ricardo Marques)


12. Be loyal and forgive but above all: love and respect. (Casey Jo Wagner)


13. Accept the person as they are, as an individual, without conditions. Also, as important as it is for you to be there for them, sometimes you have to be willing to let them be there for you. (Casey Kimes)


14. Remain friends despite a person’s choices in life and don’t bail on them when they aren’t who you want them to be. (Kim Shaw)


15. A true friend always supports the person but doesn’t feel compelled to support the situation. A true friend knows how and when to say the firm, “No.” (Leslie Mollay)


16. Help yourself and those closest to you grow. To live means to grow, and a true friend is someone that you can honestly say has helped define you as an individual. (Kevin Ball)


17. Celebrate the wins and be there to support the losses. Keep your word and acknowledge it when you don’t. (Margalit Ward)


18. Walk in to a friend’s aid when others are walking out. (Larry Stilts)


19. Don’t hold grudges over petty disagreements. (Annika de Korte)

20. Show up! You can pretend to care but you cannot pretend to show up. (Sherri Levy)



5. THEY ARE GIVER ,NOT A TAKER

According to Adam Grant, author of Give and Take, there are three different types of reciprocity styles: givers, takers, and matchers.

Givers, takers, and matchers

What’s the difference between these types?

1. Takers are self-focused and put their own interests ahead of others’ needs. They try to gain as much as possible from their interactions while contributing as little as they can in return.

2. Matchers like to preserve an equal balance of giving and taking. Their mindset is: “If you take from me, I’ll take from you. If you give to me, I’ll give to you.”

3. Givers are others-focused, and tend to provide support to others with no strings attached. They ask themselves, “How can I add value for this person? What can I contribute?”

Qualities of a giver and a taker

This are the qualities of a both a giver and a taker-

    • Givers are focused on others. Takers are focused on themselves.
    • Givers ask, “How can I contribute?” Takers ask, “What’s in it for me?” This should give you a real clue as to the motivation of an individual.
    • Givers bring energy. Takers drain energy. I want to be someone who brings energy into every situation. I sure don’t want to be a drainer.
    • Givers are grateful. Takers are greedy. 
    • Givers are engaged people. Takers are entitled people. We could say this another way. Givers are kingdom-minded. Takers are only concerned with their own agenda.
    • Givers serve others. Takers use others. 
    • Givers are loyal to others. Takers are loyal only to themselves.

  • Givers are happy and fulfilled. Takers tend to be miserable and complaining.
  • Givers enjoy life. Takers are too busy blaming others for their failures.

My questions for my fellow readers and viewers :

1. Do you have a special friend?

2.  Who is that person that gives you joy when both of you are together talking,chating, rejoicing, trolling and Partying together?


3. Can you trust your special friend? If yes or no ,give me reasons?

Please let me know all your reactions, views and insights in the comment box below!

 Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

University of Benin

www.facebook.com/patrickstories

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: