January 1, 2020January 9, 2020 PATRICK STORIES

PATRICK PERSONAL VIEW: 14 REASONS WHY I STILL LOVE FEMINIST/ WRITER CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE

PATRICK PERSONAL VIEW: 14 REASONS WHY I STILL LOVE CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE

The first time I heard about her I was in Benin doing my masters at UNIBEN. I heard it from a girl who was able to explain in details her novel (purple hibiscus). And I was unhappy for that because I felt she was a misandrist by her attitude towards the character of the man at the end of the novel. After that I made a detail research about her. I did a detail analysis of some of her novel and watch more of her feminist tour and talk show around Europe and American countries. I was able to gather some popular questions she was been asked during her talk/speech in some universities. I used almost a year to do my research. That was 2016. I kept all the research hidden from some of my friends. I kept it personal. I was trying to have a blog where I can talk more about what women face in the society based on the gender issues, domestic violence. In that same year, I read more about her popular write up about

WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST
DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS
PURPLE HABISCUS

Those were what motivated me in to having such a likeness toward her. She became my godmother in terms of feminism. She made it easy for me to understand about it very well. I started with DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS. I used almost 4/5 months to know what feminism was all about. As I research more about her, I made more references to her book in some of my feminist topic in my blog site.

I have become an addicted fan to her works, write up and speech/talk about feminism, gender issues. Her literature and writing change my views about women and her write up empower me to remove the ideas of being stereotype and have a wider view of why people are just like that.

After that, I went further in to reading WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST. That was the height of all. At this point I knew all about feminism (50 ). I can explain the plight about feminist to someone. The reason for the gender equality and the right them fight for. The books were able to discuss everything from the rise of misogyny, the problem with modern masculinity, likeability, gender issues and domestic violence.

14 REASONS WHY I STILL LOVE CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE

From most of the research I did. I personally brought out the major area she talk about. The fourteen points are the major reason why I like CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE

LIKEABILITY
SEX, MARRIAGE, RELATIONSHIP AND VIRGINITY
LOVE AND ROMANCE
CHILDREN INTEREST AND ABILITY
MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY/MULIEBRITY
SEXISM
GENDER AND GENDER/SEX ROLES
FEMINIST HUMANIST AND EQUALITY
SOCIALISATION AND CULTURE
DOMESTIC CHORE –LIKE COOKING
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
ACT OF CHIVALRY
WOMEN APPEARANCE
MONEY

For more information on the proves, some of the links to the site are provided and some excerpts from her books to prove my point why I love her idea on the 14 points listed above.

1. LIKEABILITY

DEFINITIONS OF LIKEABILITY

According to Wiktionary

The property that makes a person likeable, that allows them to be liked.

https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/likeability

2. According to Cambridge dictionary.

Likeability (US likability)

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/likeable

Thesaurus: synonyms and related words

Friendly, Affability, affable, affably, agreeableness, amiability, convivially, cordial, cordiality, cordially, hospitably, hospitality, inseparable.

PROVE 1 (FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I did a research on the internet about her talk and post about likeability. I was able to bring out major sites where she said something about likeability. For more information on it. Here are the links to some of the site.

Here is what she said about likeability-

“”””I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likeability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likeable, that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too pushy, because you have to be likeable,“

“And I say that is bullshit. So what I want to say to young girls is forget about likeability. If you start thinking about being likeable you are not going to tell your story honestly, because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that’s going to ruin your story, so forget about likeability. And also the world is such a wonderful, diverse, and multi-faceted place that there’s somebody who’s going to like you; you don’t need to twist yourself into shapes.””””

PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

“”””” Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people. “””””

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

So instead of teaching Chizalum to be likeable, teach her to be honest. And kind. And brave. Encourage her to speak her mind, to say what she really thinks, to speak truthfully. And then praise her when she does. Praise her especially when she takes a stand that is difficult or unpopular because it happens to be her honest position.
Show her that she does not need to be liked by everyone. Tell her that if someone does not like her, there will be someone else who will. Teach her that she is not merely an object to be liked or disliked, she is also a subject who can like or dislike.

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” What struck me—with her and with many other female American friends I have—is how invested they are in being “liked.” How they have been raised to believe that their being likable is very important and that this “likable” trait is a specific thing. And that specific thing does not include showing anger or being aggressive or disagreeing too loudly.

We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women. “””””

PROVE 5(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

We teach girls to be likeable, to be nice, to be false. And we do not teach boys the same. This is dangerous. Many sexual predators have capitalized on this. Many girls remain silent when abused because they want to be nice.
Many girls spend too much time trying to be ‘nice’ to people who do them harm. Many girls think of the ‘feelings’ of those who are hurting them. This is the catastrophic consequence of likeability.

PROVE 6(FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “” LIKABILITY IS BULLSHIT “”

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://qz.com/414456/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-says-likability-is-bullshit-and-shes-100-right/

In her Arthur Miller Freedom to Write lecture last month, Adichie addressed the “codes of silence” that govern American life. She said that Americans like to be “comfortable” and that she worried this has brought “dangerous silencing” into American public conversation.

“The fear of causing offence, the fear of ruffling the careful layers of comfort, becomes a fetish,” Adichie said. As such, The Guardian reports, Adiche said the goal of many public conversations in the United States “is not truth,” but “comfort.”

“To choose to write is to reject silence,” she added. And indeed, silence won’t get you anywhere. At the same time, when you choose to speak out, to say something that goes against popular discourse, that make people uncomfortable, or that isn’t “nice,” you will be punished for it. You will be told to shut up and to step back in line. And if people actually listen to you, well, the push back will become ever more intense. You are really dangerous, then.

PROVE 7(FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “” RAISING A GIRL TO BE LIKEABLE “”

For further reading here is the link to convince you:

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

“”” All over the world, girls are raised to be make themselves likeable, to twist themselves into shapes that suit other people.

Please do not twist yourself into shapes to please. Don’t do it. If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then they actually just like that twisted shape, and not you. And the world is such a gloriously multifaceted, diverse place that there are people in the world who will like you, the real you, as you are. “””

2.SEX, MARRIAGE, RELATIONSHIP AND VIRGINITY

DEFINITION OF THE TERM SEX

According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/sex

The state of being either male or female.
All males considered as a group, or all females considered as a group.
Physical activity between people involving the sexual organs.
The activity of sexual intercourse.

2. According to oxford learners dictionary

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/sex_1

The state of being male or female.
Physical activity between two people in which they touch each other’s sexual organs, and which may include sexual intercourse.
Either of the two groups that people, animals and plants are divided into according to their function of producing young.

3. According to Merriam–Webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sex

Either of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species and that are distinguished respectively as female or male especially on the basis of their reproductive organs and structures.
The sum of the structural, functional, and sometimes behavioural characteristics of organisms that distinguish males and females
The state of being male or female
Males or females considered as a group

DEFINITION OF THE TERM MARRIAGE

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally recognised union between people, called spouses, that establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.[1] The definition of marriage varies around the world, not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion. Over time, it has expanded and also constricted in terms of who and what is encompassed.

2. According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/marriage

A legally accepted relationship between two people in which they live together, or the official ceremony that results in this:

They had a long and happy marriage.

She went to live in another state after the break-up of her marriage.

She has two daughters by her first marriage.

DEFINITION OF THE TERM RELATIONSHIP

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship

Mating system.

An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Although an intimate relationship is commonly a sexual relationship, it may also be a non-sexual relationship involving family, friends, or acquaintances.

Emotional intimacy involves feelings of liking or loving one or more people, and may result in physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic love, sexual activity, or other passionate attachment. These relationships play a central role in the overall human experience. Humans have a general desire to belong and to love, which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship. Such relationships allow a social network for people to form strong emotional attachments.

DEFINITION OF THE TERM VIRGINITY

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginity

Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse.[1][2] There are cultural and religious traditions that place special value and significance on this state, predominantly towards unmarried females, associated with notions of personal purity, honour and worth.

This is the one other reason I like her, she blended the idea sex, marriage, relationship and virginity for us to understand. I did a research on the internet about her talk and post on sex, marriage, relationship and virginity. I was able to bring out major sites where she said something about sex marriage, relationship and virginity. For more information on it, here are some of the statement made by her in her two books to prove my point why I love her.

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Twelfth Suggestion

“”””” Talk to her about sex, and start early. Remember that seminar we went to in class 3 where we were supposed to be taught about ‘sexuality’ but instead we listened to vague semi threats about how ‘talking to boys’ would end up with us being pregnant and disgraced? I remember that hall and that seminar as a place filled with shame. Ugly shame. The particular brand of shame that has to do with being female. With her, don’t pretend that sex is merely a controlled act of reproduction. Or an ‘only in marriage’ act, because that is disingenuous. “””””

PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””””””“And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him. But what if we question the premise itself: Why should a woman’s success be a threat to a man? What if we decide to simply dispose of that word—and I don’t know if there is an English word I dislike more than this—emasculation. “”””””””””

Note-

Emasculation– the act of depriving of virility, or the state of being so deprived

Loss of power and masculinity

Neutering a male animal by removing the testicles

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I teach a writing workshop in Lagos and one of the participants, a young woman, told me that a friend had told her not to listen to my “feminist talk”; otherwise she would absorb ideas that would destroy her marriage. This is a threat—the destruction of a marriage, the possibility of not having a marriage at all—that in our society is much more likely to be used against a woman than against a man. “””””

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “”

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” We teach females that in relationships, compromise is what a woman is more likely to do. We raise girls to see each other as competitors—not for jobs or accomplishments, which in my opinion can be a good thing—but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way boys are. If we have sons, we don’t mind knowing about their girlfriends. But our daughters’ boyfriends? God forbid. (But we of course expect them to bring home the perfect man for marriage when the time is right.) “”””””

PROVE 5 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Twelfth Suggestion

“”””Do not ever make ‘virginity’ a focus. Every conversation about virginity becomes a conversation about shame. Teach her to reject the linking of shame and female biology. “”””

PROVE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” We police girls. We praise girls for virginity but we don’t praise boys for virginity (and it makes me wonder how exactly this is supposed to work out, since the loss of virginity is a process that usually involves two people of opposite genders). “””””

PROVE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the seventh Suggestion

“””””” Never speak of marriage as an achievement. Find ways to make clear to her that marriage is not an achievement, nor is it what she should aspire to. A marriage can be happy or unhappy, but it is not an achievement. “”””””””

PROVE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the seventh Suggestion

“””””” We condition girls to aspire to marriage and we do not condition boys to aspire to marriage, and so there is already a terrible imbalance at the start. The girls will grow up to be women preoccupied with marriage. The boys will grow up to be men who are not preoccupied with marriage. The women marry those men. The relationship is automatically uneven because the institution matters more to one than the other. Is it any wonder that, in so many marriages, women sacrifice more, at a loss to themselves, because they have to constantly maintain an uneven exchange? One consequence of this imbalance is the very shabby and very familiar phenomenon of two women publicly fighting over a man, while the man remains silent. “”””””

PROVE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”””” With her, don’t pretend that sex is merely a controlled act of reproduction. Or an ‘only in marriage’ act, because that is disingenuous. (You and Chudi were having sex long before marriage and she will probably know this by the time she is twelve.) Tell her that sex can be a beautiful thing and that, apart from the obvious physical consequences (for her as the woman!), it can also have emotional consequences. Tell her that her body belongs to her and her alone, that she should never feel the need to say yes to something she does not want, or something she feels pressured to do. Teach her that saying no when no feels right is something to be proud of. “””””

PROVE 10 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” When women say “I did it for peace in my marriage,” it is usually because they have given up a job, a career goal, a dream. “”””

PROVE 11 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” We also need to question the idea of marriage as a prize to women, because that is the basis of these absurd debates. If we stop conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize. It is interesting to me how early the world starts to invent gender roles.””””””

PROVE 12 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

Because I am female, I’m expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Marriage can be a good thing, a source of joy, love, and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage, but we don’t teach boys to do the same?

PROVE 13 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I know young women who are under so much pressure—from family, from friends, even from work—to get married that they are pushed to make terrible choices. Our society teaches a woman at a certain age who is unmarried to see it as a deep personal failure. Even the language we use illustrates this. The language of marriage is often a language of ownership, not a language of partnership. “””””

PROVE 14 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“”””” And speaking of women lamenting about men who ‘promise’ marriage and then disappear – isn’t it odd that in most societies in the world today, women generally cannot propose marriage? Marriage is such a major step in your life and yet you cannot take charge of it; it depends on a man asking you. So many women are in long-term relationships and want to get married but have to wait for the man to propose – and often this waiting becomes a performance, sometimes unconscious and sometimes not, of marriage-worthiness. If we apply the first Feminism Tool here, then it makes no sense that a woman who matters equally has to wait for somebody else to initiate what will be a major life change for her.

It goes back, I think, to that early conditioning. At a recent baby’s baptism ceremony, guests were asked to write their wishes for the baby girl. One guest wrote: ‘I wish for you a good husband.’ Well-intentioned but very troubling. A three-month-old baby girl already being told that a husband is something to aspire to. Had the baby been a boy, it would not have occurred to that guest to wish for him ‘a good wife’. “””””””

PROVE 15 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth suggestion

“””””And speaking of shame – never, ever link sexuality and shame. Or nakedness and shame. Do not ever make ‘virginity’ a focus. Every conversation about virginity becomes a conversation about shame. Teach her to reject the linking of shame and female biology. Why were we raised to speak in low tones about periods? To be filled with shame if our menstrual blood happened to stain our skirt? Periods are nothing to be ashamed of. Periods are normal and natural, and the human species would not be here if periods did not exist. I remember a man who said a period was like shit. Well, sacred shit, I told him, because you wouldn’t be here if periods didn’t happen. “””””

PROVE 16 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixth suggestion

“””” Don’t you know you are old enough to find a husband?’ I used to say that often. But now I choose not to. I say, ‘You are old enough to find a job.’ Because I do not believe that marriage is something we should teach young girls to aspire to. “”””

3. LOVE AND ROMANCE

DEFINITION OF LOVE

a. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

b. According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love

Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.
Attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers.
Affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.
An assurance of affection.
Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion.
The object of attachment, devotion, or admiration.

DEFINITION OF ROMANCE

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_(love)

Romance is an emotional feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards another person, and the courtship behaviours undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” Make sure you are aware of the romance in her life. And the only way you can do that is to start very early to give her the language with which to talk to you not only about sex but also about love. I don’t mean you should be her ‘friend’; I mean you should be her mother to whom she can talk about everything. “”””

PROVE 2(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” Teach her that to love is not only to give but also to take. This is important because we give girls subtle cues about their lives – we teach girls that a large component of their ability to love is their ability to sacrifice their selves. We do not teach this to boys. Teach her that to love she must give of herself emotionally but she must also expect to be given to. “”””

PROVE 3(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” I think love is the most important thing in life. Whatever kind, however you define it, but I think of it generally as being greatly valued by another human being and greatly valuing another human being. But why do we raise only one half of the world to value this? “”””

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“”””” Romance will happen, so be on board. I’m writing this assuming she is heterosexual – she might not be, obviously. But I am assuming that because it is what I feel best equipped to talk about. “””””

PROVE 5 (FROM SITE/INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “” the most important thing in the world: love “”

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

SHE SAYS –

“” And, finally I would like to end with a final note on the most important thing in the world: love.Now girls are often raised to see love only as giving. Women are praised for their love when that love is an act of giving. But to love is to give AND to take. Please love by giving and by taking. Give and be given. If you are only giving and not taking, you’ll know. You’ll know from that small and true voice inside you that we females are so often socialized to silence. Don’t silence that voice. Dare to take. “””

Congratulations.

4. CHILDREN INTEREST AND ABILITY

DEFINITION OF INTEREST

According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/interest

The feeling of wanting to give your attention to something or of wanting to be involved with and to discover more about something:
The quality that makes you think that something is interesting:
Something that brings advantages to or affects someone or something:
A feeling of having your attention held by something, or of wanting to be involved with and learn more about something.

DEFINITION OF ABILITY

a. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ability

The quality or state of being able especially: physical, mental, or legal power to do something.
Competence in doing something: SKILL.
Natural aptitude or acquired proficiency.

b. According Cambridge dictionary

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/ability

The physical or mental power or skill needed to do something.

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” But what matters even more is our attitude, our mind-set. What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on interest instead of gender? “””””

5. MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY

DEFINITION OF MASCULINITY

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculinity

Masculinity (also called manhood or manliness) is a set of attributes, behaviours, and roles associated with boys and men. Although masculinity is socially constructed, some research indicates that some behaviours considered masculine are biologically influenced. To what extent masculinity is biologically or socially influenced is subject to debate. It is distinct from the definition of the biological male sex, as both males and females can exhibit masculine traits.

Definition of femininity

a. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femininity

Femininity (also called womanliness or girlishness) is a set of attributes, behaviours, and roles generally associated with women and girls. Although femininity is socially constructed, some research indicates that some behaviours considered feminine are biologically influenced. To what extent femininity is biologically or socially influenced is subject to debate. It is distinct from the definition of the biological female sex, as both males and females can exhibit feminine traits.

b. According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/femininity

The quality or nature of the female sex : the quality, state, or degree of being feminine or womanly challenging traditional notions about femininity and masculinity

PROVE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the fourth Suggestion

“”” But here is a sad truth: our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful women. We have been so conditioned to think of power as male that a powerful woman is an aberration. ”””

PROVE 2(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””“And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him. But what if we question the premise itself: Why should a woman’s success be a threat to a man? What if we decide to simply dispose of that word—and I don’t know if there is an English word I dislike more than this—emasculation. “”””

PROVE 3(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys.

We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigerian-speak—a hard man. “””””

PROVE 4(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixth Suggestion

“”””””“Teach her, too, to question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be ‘revered’ and ‘championed’ – a sentiment that is all too common. Tell Chizalum that women actually don’t need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women needing to be ‘championed and revered’ because they are women. It makes me think of chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness. “”””””

PROVE 5(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”“””” Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. A man and a woman are doing the same job, with the same qualifications, and the man is paid more because he is a man. So in a literal way, men rule the world. This made sense a thousand years ago. Because human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most important attribute for survival; the physically stronger person was more likely to lead. And men in general are physically stronger. (There are of course many exceptions.) Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much. “””””””

PROVE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically, but socialization exaggerates the differences. And then starts a self-fulfilling process. Take cooking, for example. Today, women in general are more likely to do housework than men—cooking and cleaning. But why is that? Is it because women are born with a cooking gene or because over years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role? I was going to say that perhaps women are born with a cooking gene until I remembered that the majority of famous cooks in the world—who are given the fancy title of “chef”—are men. ”””””

PROVE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”” In every culture in the world, female sexuality is about shame. Even cultures that expect women to be sexy – like many in the West – still do not expect them to be sexual. The shame we attach to female sexuality is about control. Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another. If the justification for controlling women’s bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was ‘women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do’. Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be ‘covered up’ to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men. “”””

PROVE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Eleventh Suggestion

“”””” We often use biology to explain the privileges that men have, the most common reason being men’s physical superiority. It is of course true that men are in general physically stronger than women. But if we truly depended on biology as the root of social norms, then children would be identified as their mother’s rather than their father’s because when a child is born, the parent we are biologically – and incontrovertibly – certain of is the mother. We assume the father is who the mother says the father is. How many lineages all over the world are not biological, I wonder? ””””

PROVE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.) What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not “the boy has to pay,” but rather, “whoever has more should pay.” Of course, because of their historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today. But if we start raising children differently, then in fifty years, in a hundred years, boys will no longer have the pressure of proving their masculinity by material means. But by far the worst thing we do to males—by making them feel they have to be hard —is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is. “”””

PROVE 10 (INTERNET/SITE-INTERVIEW)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””why men have a higher rate of dying by suicide “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://m.guardian.ng/features/how-patriarchy-could-be-spiking-rate-of-suicide-among-men/

https://dailypost.ng/2018/09/12/men-die-suicide-chimamanda-adichie/

Here is her speech:

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi : “””“Both men and women suffer from the illnesses that lead to suicide but it is men that have a much higher rate of dying by suicide.

“Why? Because men are socialized to suppress so many human parts of themselves, men are socialized not to ask for help, men are socialized to be afraid of fear, men are socialized not to show vulnerability.

“From the moment we tell a little boy that ‘boys don’t cry’ or we tell a hurting teenager to ‘man up’ we are creating an adult man who will be cheated of the full range of his emotions. So, while men benefit from patriarchy, they also suffer from it. ”””””

PROVE 11 (INTERNET/SITE-INTERVIEW)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”” men were not inherently bad or evil.They were merely privileged “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

Here is her speech:

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi :

“””” And I knew that men were not inherently bad or evil. They were merely privileged. And I knew that privilege blinds because it is the nature of privilege to blind.

I knew from this personal experience, from the class privilege I had of growing up in an educated family, that it sometimes blinded me, that I was not always as alert to the nuances of people who were different from me.

And you, because you now have your beautiful Wellesley degree, have become privileged, no matter what your background. That degree, and the experience of being here, is a privilege. Don’t let it blind you too often. Sometimes you will need to push it aside in order to see clearly. “””””

PROVE 11 (INTERNET/SITE-SPEECH)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”” men were not inherently bad or evil.They were merely privileged “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

Here is her speech:

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi :

“”””” Write television shows in which female strength is not depicted as remarkable but merely normal. Teach your students to see that vulnerability is a HUMAN rather than a FEMALE trait.

Commission magazine articles that teach men HOW TO KEEP A WOMAN HAPPY. Because there are already too many articles that tell women how to keep a man happy. And in media interviews make sure fathers are asked how they balance family and work. In this age of ‘parenting as guilt,’ please spread the guilt equally. Make fathers feel as bad as mothers. Make fathers share in the glory of guilt.

Campaign and agitate for paid paternity leave everywhere in America.

Hire more women where there are few. But remember that a woman you hire doesn’t have to be exceptionally good. Like a majority of the men who get hired, she just needs to be good enough. “””””

6. SEXISM

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexism

Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s sex or gender. Sexism can affect anyone, but it primarily affects women and girls. It has been linked to stereotypes and gender roles, and may include the belief that one sex or gender is intrinsically superior to another. Extreme sexism may foster sexual harassment, rape, and other forms of sexual violence.

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixth Suggestion

“”””” Teach her to ask questions like: what are the things that women cannot do because they are women? Do these things have cultural prestige? If so, why are only men allowed to do the things that have cultural prestige? It is helpful, I think, to use everyday examples. Remember that television commercial we watched in Lagos, where a man cooks and his claps for him? True progress is when she doesn’t clap for him but just reacts to the food itself – she can either praise the food or not praise the food, just as he can praise hers or not praise hers, but what is SEXIST is that she is praising the fact that he has undertaken the act of cooking, praise that implies that cooking is an inherently female act. ”””””

PROVE 2 (INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi where she mentioned “””” she is angrier about sexism than she is about racism “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://givingcompass.org/article/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-on-sexism-and-racism/

In “Dear Ijeawele or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions”, FEMINIST/WRITER Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi writes that she is angrier about sexism than she is about racism. “I don’t think sexism is worse than racism, it’s impossible even to compare,” she clarifies.

“”””” It’s that I feel lonely in my fight against sexism, in a way that I don’t feel in my fight against racism. My friends, my family, they get racism, they get it. The people I’m close to who are not black get it. But I find that with sexism you are constantly having to explain, justify, convince, make a case for. ‘’’’’’’

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the fourth Suggestion

“”””” I am angry about racism. I am angry about sexism. But I recently came to the realization that I am angrier about sexism than I am about racism. Because in my anger about sexism, I often feel lonely. Because I love, and live among, many people who easily acknowledge race injustice but not gender injustice. I cannot tell you how often people I care about – men and women – have expected me to make a case for sexism, to ‘prove’ it, as it were, while never having the same expectation for racism. (Obviously, in the wider world, too many people are still expected to ‘prove’ racism, but not in my close circle.) I cannot tell you how often people I care about have dismissed or diminished sexist situations. “””””

PROVE 4 (INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi where she mentioned “”” she is angrier about sexism than she is about racism “””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pulse.ng/entertainment/celebrities/chimamanda-adichie-angrier-about-sexism-than-racism/5z32fs8.amp

FEMINIST/WRITER Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi : ““”” “I said that because in my very own personal space, the people I love, the people I’m close to, my family, my friends, all get race. So, I have never with them have to make a case, for why something was racist.

“So, I’m in my circle of friends, White people, Black people, Asian people, Hispanic people and when something happens to do with Blackness, immediately, we all get it.

“But with gender, I find that with the people I love, I’m constantly being expected to make the case, the ways in which, women are reduced, the ways in which authority in women is judged much more different than authority in a man.

“And I’m constantly being asked by the people, I love. So, I’m not talking about anonymous people, to make that case and it gets emotionally exhausting.

“Because, I don’t feel like I have the kind of effortless support that I have, when I talk about race. “””””

7. GENDER AND GENDER/SEX ROLES

DEFINITION OF GENDER

a. According to encyclopaedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender

Gender is the range of characteristics pertaining to, and differentiating between, masculinity and femininity. Depending on the context, these characteristics may include biological sex (i.e., the state of being male, female, or an intersex variation), sex-based social structures (i.e., gender roles), or gender identity.

b. According to other research by individuals

Gender refers to ways of being male and female within a culture or society. The larger group promotes a certain type of gender roles, responsibilities, and relationships for a male or female.. They can and have been changed as society progresses.

DEFINITION OF GENDER ROLES

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_role

A gender role, also known as a sex role is a social role encompassing a range of behaviours and attitudes that are generally considered acceptable, appropriate, or desirable for people based on their actual or perceived sex Gender roles are usually centred on conceptions of femininity and masculinity, although there are exceptions and variations.

FEMALE GENDER/SEX ROLES

Gender roles begin a second a baby’s gender is found out. As soon as we find out it’s a girl, we immediately begin decorating a pink nursery filled butterflies and flowers. What this is essentially doing, even though many parents don’t realise it, is setting our child up to be the “perfect lady,” and teaching her how to be the stereotypical woman. We are teaching her that girls are supposed to wear dresses, serve food, and take care of babies; the biggest and most common stereotype/roles put on women.

Here is another gender role being placed on women; women stay at home while men go to work. While there are a million gender stereotypes about females, these are definitely the biggest, and the most debated by feminists of today. Some other stereotypes include

Women are supposed to have “clean jobs” such as secretaries, teachers, and librarians
Women are not good at maths
Women are nurses, not doctors
Women are not as strong as men
Women are supposed to make less money than men
The best women are stay at home moms
Women don’t need to go to college
Women don’t play sports
Women are not politicians
Women are quieter than men and not meant to speak out
Women are supposed to be submissive and do as they are told
Women are supposed to cook and do housework
Women are responsible for raising children
Women do not have technical skills and are not good at “hands on” projects such as car repairs
Women are meant to be the damsel in distress; never the hero
Women are supposed to look pretty and be looked at
Women love to sing and dance
Women do not play video games
Women are never in charge

Women should be secretaries
Women should be “ladylike.”

MALE GENDER/SEX ROLES

Stereotyping is no different when it’s found out that a boy is on the way. The nursery is decked out in blue, his closet is filled with tiny jeans, polo shirts, and boots, and the theme is usually something like jungle animals or dinosaurs; something tough. Boys’ toys consist of trucks, dinosaurs, action figures, and video games. From the beginning boys are taught to be tough, to be protective, and to defend themselves. Boys are taught that daddy’s go to work and mommy’s stay at home; from their point of view, boys have fun and girls do all the work.

Are you surprised to hear that most parents admit that they do not teach their sons how to do chores such as washing dishes or folding laundry? Instead, they teach them to take out the trash and mow the lawn; from the get-go boys are made to think that certain household chores are “women’s work.” This is a major gender roles, Men are supposed to do the dirty jobs and anything that requires muscle, they are also supposed to go to work and provide for the family.

Other gender roles that describe all men are:

All men enjoy working on cars
Men are not nurses, they are doctors
Men do “dirty jobs” such as construction and mechanics; they are not secretaries, teachers, or cosmetologists
Men do not do housework and they are not responsible for taking care of children
Men play video games
Men play sports
Men enjoy outdoor activities such as camping, fishing, and hiking
Men are in charge; they are always at the top
As husbands, men tell their wives what to do
Men are good at maths
It is always men who work in science, engineering, and other technical fields
Men do not cook, sew, or do crafts or cooking
Men should be macho.

Men shouldn’t kindergarten teachers.

From the above analysis and detail examples of gender roles designated to both male and female in the society. Am able to come with some prove to underpinned the reason I like her based on an own idea on gender and gender roles in the society. Here are the list of a little draft/excerpt from our renowned feminist to underpin my proves:

PROVE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” Gender matters everywhere in the world. And I would like today to ask that we begin to dream about and plan for a different world. A fairer world. A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves. And this is how to start: We must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently. “””””

PROVE 2(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” That many men do not actively think about gender or notice gender. Because gender can be uncomfortable, there are easy ways to close this conversation. Other men might respond by saying: Okay, this is interesting, but I don’t think like that. I don’t even think about gender. Some people will bring up evolutionary biology and apes, how female apes bow to male apes—that sort of thing. But the point is this: We are not apes. Apes also live in trees and eat earthworms. We do not. “””””

PROVE 3(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I know a woman who hates domestic work, but she pretends that she likes it, because she has been taught that to be “good wife material,” she has to be—to use that Nigerian word—homely. And then she got married. And her husband’s family began to complain that she had changed. Actually, she had not changed. She just got tired of pretending to be what she was not. The problem with gender is that it prescribe how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations. “””””

PROVE 4(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” I am trying to unlearn many lessons of gender I internalized while growing up. But I sometimes still feel vulnerable in the face of gender expectations. “”””

PROVE 5(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

““” Gender roles are so deeply conditioned in us that we will often follow them even when they chafe against our true desires, our needs, our happiness. They are very difficult to unlearn, and so it is important to try to make sure that Chizalum rejects them from the beginning. Instead of letting her internalize the idea of gender roles, teach her self-reliance.”””

PROVE 6(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

””If we don’t place the straitjacket of gender roles on young children, we give them space to reach their full potential. Please see Chizalum as an individual. Not as a girl who should be a certain way. See her weaknesses and her strengths in an individual way. Do not measure her on a scale of what a girl should be. Measure her on a scale of being the best version of herself.””

PROVE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Tenth Suggestion

““”” She can counter ideas about static ‘gender roles’ if she has been empowered by her familiarity with alternatives. If she knows an uncle who cooks well – and does so with indifference – then she can smile and brush off the foolishness of somebody who claims that ‘women must do the cooking. “”””

PROVE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

“”””Teach her that the idea of ‘gender roles’ is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. ‘Because you are a girl’ is never a reason for anything ever “”””

PROVE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

””””” The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned. Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally have. It is also a skill that can elude both men and women. We also need to question the idea of marriage as a prize to women, because that is the basis of these absurd debates. If we stop conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize. It is interesting to me how early the world starts to invent gender roles. “””””

PROVE 10 (FROM HER BOOK)

I will backed it up with a powerful statements made by FEMINIST/WRITER CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE about the gender roles in schools which is been underpinned by teachers

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” Now here’s a story from my childhood: When I was in primary school in Nsukka, a university town in southeastern Nigeria, my teacher said at the beginning of term that she would give the class a test and whoever got the highest score would be the class monitor. Class monitor was a big deal. If you were class monitor, you would write down the names of noisemakers each day, which was heady enough power on its own, but my teacher would also give you a cane to hold in your hand while you walked around and patrolled the class for noise makers. Of course you were not allowed to actually use the cane. But it was an exciting prospect for the nine-year-old me. I very much wanted to be class monitor. And I got the highest score on the test. Then, to my surprise, my teacher said the monitor had to be a boy. She had forgotten to make that clear earlier; she assumed it was obvious. A boy had the second-highest score on the test. And he would be monitor. What was even more interesting is that this boy was a sweet, gentle soul who had no interest in patrolling the class with a stick. While I was full of ambition to do so. But I was female and he was male and he became class monitor. I have never forgotten that incident. If we do something over and over, it becomes normal. If we see the same thing over and over, it becomes normal. If only boys are made class monitor, then at some point we will all think, even if unconsciously, that the class monitor has to be a boy. If we keep seeing only men as heads of corporations, it starts to seem “natural” that only men should be heads of corporations. ””””””

PROVE 11 (SITE/INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned about the sexualization of girls on media (marketing strategy)

Here is a backup to that statement of yours from our own popular Nigeria feminist: FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi

Here is an interview with her.

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/qz.com/quartzy/1133732/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-talks-about-feminism-and-raising-her-daughter-in-a-gendered-world/amp/

Here is the question that was asked her about raising a girl child.

LAUREN ALIX BROWN: So in terms of teaching people how to be feminists, has raising a girl changed or challenged any of your suggestions for how to raise a feminist?

FEMINIST ADICHIE CHIMANMANDA NGOZI: “”””” It hasn’t challenged anything, it’s just that it’s made me realize how difficult it is. Because I think I felt that. I’m only just realizing that sometimes it feels like the universe is conspiring against me. Because I am trying to push against ideas and norms that are so ingrained that they can start to feel invisible. And it’s little things. I’m just amazed at how everything is GENDERED—diapers. I mean baby bodies are the same. But now there are diapers where there’s the girl picture. Some months ago we wanted to get the overnight diapers for Baby because she was starting to wake up quite wet. So we wanted to get the diapers marketed as overnight because they absorb more and there’s girls and boys. I remember saying to my husband, who’s a physician, I said, “Do you think maybe the boys’ has a little thing to hold the penis? I mean, why are they different? He had a good laugh and he’s like, “It’s just marketing.” I remember thinking, there has to be a reason for this because it made no sense to me. But there’s no reason for it. Also, I’m just realizing how early the sexualization of girls starts. Four-year-old girls’ dresses. I find many of them disturbing. It’s sort of like four year olds’ now have to be mini women. I’m noticing these things a lot more just because of my child. And children’s books and cartoons. It does sometimes feel that there’s a conspiracy of the universe. But at the same time, I’m utterly undeterred.

It requires pushing back, but I’m going to push back. I want to equip her with the tools. I’m hoping that she grows up to be the girl who sort of mocks these things—who gets it and who mocks them. That’s my hope, that would be ideal for me. “”””””

PROVE 12 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”” But what matters even more is our attitude, our mind-set. What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on interest instead of gender? “””

PROVE 13 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

””””Gender is not an easy conversation to have. It makes people uncomfortable, sometimes even irritable. Both men and women are resistant to talk about gender, or are quick to dismiss the problems of gender. Because thinking of changing the status quo is always uncomfortable. ””””

PROVE 14 (FROM SITE/INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “””” MOTHER IN RELATION TO FEMININITY””””

For further reading here is the link to the SPEECH convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

IN HER SPEECH SHE SAYS-

“”””” Okay, one last thing about my mother. My mother and I do not agree on many things regarding gender. There are certain things my mother believes a person should do, for the simple reason that said person ‘is a woman.’ Such as nod occasionally and smile even when smiling is the last thing one wants to do. Such as strategically give in to certain arguments, especially when arguing with a non-female. Such as get married and have children. I can think of fairly good reasons for doing any of these. But ‘because you are a woman’ is not one of them. And so, Class of 2015, never ever accept ‘Because You are a Woman’ as a reason for doing or not doing anything. “”””

8. FEMINISM (FEMINIST), HUMANISM (HUMANIST) AND EQUALITY

DEFINITION OF FEMINISM

a. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism

Feminism is a range of social movements, political movements, and ideologies that aim to define, establish, and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes.

b. According to Merriam Webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/feminism

the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

DEFINITION OF FEMINIST

According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/feminist

A person who believes in feminism, and tries to achieve change that helps women to get equal opportunities and treatment.

DEFINITION OF HUMANISM

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanism

Humanism is a philosophical and ethical stance that emphasizes the value and agency of human beings, individually and collectively, and generally prefers critical thinking and evidence (rationalism and empiricism) over acceptance of dogma or superstition.

According to merriam-webster

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/humanism

Devotion to the humanities: literary culture.
The revival of classical letters, individualistic and critical spirit, and emphasis on secular concerns characteristic of the Renaissance.
Devotion to human welfare: HUMANITARIANISM
A doctrine, attitude, or way of life centred on human interests or values especially: a philosophy that usually rejects supernaturalism and stresses an individual’s dignity and worth and capacity for self-realization through reason
A system of values and beliefs that is based on the idea that people are basically good and that problems can be solved using reason instead of religion

DEFINITION OF HUMANIST

According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/humanist

A person who believes in humanism (= the idea that people do not need a god or religion to satisfy their spiritual and emotional needs)
Relating to or believing in humanism (= the idea that people do not need a god or religion to satisfy their spiritual and emotional needs)

DEFINITION OF EQUALITY

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equality

Political equality, in which all members of a society are of equal standing

Consociationalism, in which an ethnically, religiously, or linguistically divided state functions by cooperation of each group’s elites
Egalitarianism, a trend of thought that favours equality for all people
Equal opportunity, a stipulation that all people should be treated similarly
Equality of outcome, in which the general conditions of people’s lives are similar
For specific groups:
Gender equality
Racial equality
Equality Party (disambiguation), several political parties

Social equality, in which all people within a group have the same status, a form of social justice.

Because of my work am going to specify on the one that pertains to my study:

political equality
egalitarianism
equal opportunity
gender equality
social equality

POLITICAL EQUALITY

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_egalitarianism

Political egalitarianism is where members of a society are of equal standing in terms of political power or influence. A founding principle of various forms of democracy, political egalitarianism was an idea which was supported by Thomas Jefferson and it is a concept similar to moral reciprocity and legal equality. The idea suggests all citizens of a certain country must be treated equally solely depending on their citizenship status, not on their race, gender, religion and how clever or how rich they are. Equal citizenship constitute the core of political egalitarianism. This is expressed in such principles as one-person/one-vote, equality before the law and equal rights of free speech.

EGALITARIANISM

a. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egalitarianism

Egalitarianism (from French égal, meaning ‘equal’), or equalitarianism, is a school of thought within political philosophy that prioritizes equality for all people. Egalitarian doctrines are generally characterized by the idea that all humans are equal in fundamental worth or moral status.

b. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary

The term has two distinct definitions in modern English, namely either as a political doctrine that all people should be treated as equals and have the same political, economic, social and civil rights, or as a social philosophy advocating the removal of economic inequalities among people, economic egalitarianism, or the decentralization of power. Some sources define egalitarianism as the point of view that equality reflects the natural state of humanity.

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equal_opportunity

Equal opportunity is a state of fairness in which job applicants are treated similarly, unhampered by artificial barriers or prejudices or preferences, except when particular distinctions can be explicitly justified. The intent is that the important jobs in an organization should go to the people who are most qualified – persons most likely to perform ably in a given task – and not go to persons for reasons deemed arbitrary or irrelevant, such as circumstances of birth, upbringing, having well-connected relatives or friends, religion, sex, ethnicity, race, caste, or involuntary personal attributes such as disability, age, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

Equal opportunities is interpreted as being judged by ability, which is compatible with a free market economy. Relevant problems are horizontal inequality − the inequality of two persons of same origin and ability and differing opportunities given to individuals − such as in (education) or by inherited capital.

GENDER EQUALITY

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_equality

Gender equality, also known as sexual equality or equality of the sexes, is the state of equal ease of access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender, including economic participation and decision-making; and the state of valuing different behaviors, aspirations and needs equally, regardless of gender. Gender equality is the goal, while gender neutrality and gender equity are practices and ways of thinking that help in achieving the goal. UNICEF says gender equality “means that women and men, and girls and boys, enjoy the same rights, resources, opportunities and protections. It does not require that girls and boys, or women and men, be the same, or that they be treated exactly alike.

SOCIAL EQUALITY

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_equality

Social equality is a state of affairs in which all people within a specific society or isolated group have the same status in possibly all respects, possibly including civil rights, freedom of speech, property rights and equal access to certain social goods and social services. However, it may also include health equality, economic equality and other social securities. Social equality requires the absence of legally enforced social class or caste boundaries and the absence of discrimination motivated by an inalienable part of a person’s identity. For example, sex, gender, race, age, sexual orientation, origin, caste or class, income or property, language, religion, convictions, opinions, health or disability must absolutely not result in unequal treatment under the law and should not reduce opportunities unjustifiably.

From the above definitions of feminism, humanist and equality. I will say women and men are different. They are not equal. There are obvious underlying biological differences between the two sexes. This is a superficial fact – that men and women are biologically different and have different general abilities, and therefore not “equal” to one another in the physiological sense. When people talk about being “equal”, they don’t care about the physical differences. The word “equal” means equal treatment before the law, equality of opportunity, and equal consideration of interests. Some people completely misses the point of equality. I guess they are totally wrong in this aspect of equality.

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” My own definition is a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better.”””””

PROVE 2(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. A man and a woman are doing the same job, with the same qualifications, and the man is paid more because he is a man. So in a literal way, men rule the world. This made sense a thousand years ago. Because human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most important attribute for survival; the physically stronger person was more likely to lead. And men in general are physically stronger. (There are of course many exceptions.) Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much. “””””

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” Some people ask: “Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?” Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general—but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women. That the problem was not about being human, but specifically about being a female human. For centuries, the world divided human beings into two groups and then proceeded to exclude and oppress one group. It is only fair that the solution to the problem acknowledge that. Some men feel threatened by the idea of feminism. This comes, I think, from the insecurity triggered by how boys are brought up, how their sense of self-worth is diminished if they are not “naturally” in charge as men. “”””””

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixth Suggestion

“”””””“Teach her, too, to question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be ‘revered’ and ‘championed’ – a sentiment that is all too common. Tell Chizalum that women actually don’t need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women needing to be ‘championed and revered’ because they are women. It makes me think of chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness. “”””””

PROVE 5 (FROM SITE/INTERNET-SPEECH)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “””” MOTHER IN RELATION TO FEMININITY“”””

For further reading here is the link to the SPEECH to convince you:

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

IN HER SPEECH SHE SAYS-

“”””” Okay, one last thing about my mother. My mother and I do not agree on many things regarding gender. There are certain things my mother believes a person should do, for the simple reason that said person ‘is a woman.’ Such as nod occasionally and smile even when smiling is the last thing one wants to do. Such as strategically give in to certain arguments, especially when arguing with a non-female. Such as get married and have children. I can think of fairly good reasons for doing any of these. But ‘because you are a woman’ is not one of them. And so, Class of 2015, never ever accept ‘Because you are a Woman’ as a reason for doing or not doing anything. “”””

PROVE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the second Suggestion

“””””” Do it together. Remember in primary school we learned that a verb was a ‘doing’ word? Well, a father is as much a verb as a mother. Chudi should do everything that biology allows – which is everything but breastfeeding. Sometimes mothers, so conditioned to be all and do all, are complicit in diminishing the role of fathers. You might think that Chudi will not bathe her exactly as you’d like, that he might not wipe her bum as perfectly as you do. But so what? What is the worst that can happen? She won’t die at the hands of her father. Seriously. He loves her.

It’s good for her to be cared for by her father. So look away, arrest your perfectionism, still your socially conditioned sense of duty. Share child care equally. ‘Equally’ of course depends on you both, and you will have to work it out, paying equal attention to each person’s needs. It does not have to mean a literal fifty-fifty or a day-by-day score-keeping but you’ll know when the child-care work is equally shared. You’ll know by your lack of resentment. Because when there is true equality, resentment does not exist. ””””””

PROVE 7(FROM SITE/INTERNET-TALK)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””FEMINISM“”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you:

https://pen.org/press-clip/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-on-the-world-of-african-literature/

FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE speech:

“” At the TED conference in 2013, Ms Adichie gave a now-famous talk titled, “We Should All Be Feminists.” (The singer Beyoncé quoted it in her song “Flawless.”) “My version of feminism means acknowledging that women have and continue to have gotten the bad end of things, politically and socially, all over the world,” she says. “Feminism means not only acknowledging that, but wanting to make it better.””

PROVE 8 (FROM SITE/INTERNET-SPEECH)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””FEMINISM AND FEMINIST “”””

For further reading here is the link to the SPEECH to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

IN HER SPEECH SHE SAYS-

“””””” Recently a feminist organization kindly nominated me for an important prize in a country that will remain unnamed. I was very pleased. I’ve been fortunate to have received a few prizes so far and I quite like them especially when they come with shiny presents. To get this prize, I was required to talk about how important a particular European feminist woman writer had been to me. Now the truth was that I had never managed to finish this feminist writer’s book. It did not speak to me. It would have been a lie to claim that she had any major influence on my thinking. The truth is that I learned so much more about feminism from watching the women traders in the market in Nsukka where I grew up, than from reading any seminal feminist text. I could have said that this woman was important to me, and I could have talked the talk, and I could have been given the prize and a shiny present.

But I didn’t.

Because I had begun to ask myself what it really means to wear this FEMINIST label so publicly.

Just as I asked myself after excerpts of my feminism speech were used in a song by a talented musician whom I think some of you might know. I thought it was a very good thing that the word ‘feminist’ would be introduced to a new generation.

But I was startled by how many people, many of whom were academics, saw something troubling, even menacing, in this. It was as though feminism was supposed to be an elite little cult, with esoteric rites of membership.

But it shouldn’t. Feminism should be an inclusive party. Feminism should be a party full of different feminisms.

And so, class of 2015, please go out there and make Feminism a big raucous inclusive party. “”””””

PROVE 9 (FROM SITE/INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she talked about “”””EQUAL RIGHT””””

For further reading here is the link to the SPEECH convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

IN HER SPEECH SHE SAYS-

“”””” I am lucky that my writing has given me a platform that I choose to use to talk about things that I care about, and I have said a few things that have not been so popular with a number of people. I have been told to shut up about certain things – such as my position on the equal rights of gay people on the continent of Africa, such as my deeply held belief that men and women are completely equal. I don’t speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time on earth is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, each moment we pretend to be what we are not, each moment we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, then we are wasting our time on earth. “””””

PROVE 10 (FROM SITE/INTERNET-SPEECH)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””FEMINISM“”””

For further reading here is the link to the SPEECH to convince you:

“”””” Think of people as people, not as abstractions who have to conform to bloodless logic but as people—fragile, imperfect with prides that can be wounded and hearts that can be touched. Literature is my religion. I have learned from literature that we humans are flawed, all of us are flawed, but even while we are flawed, we are capable of enduring goodness. “””””

9. SOCIALIZATION AND CULTURE

DEFINITION OF SOCIALIZATION.

a. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialization

In sociology, socialization is the process of internalizing the norms and ideologies of society. Socialization encompasses both learning and teaching and is thus “the means by which social and cultural continuity are attained”. Socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behaviour, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as of children.

b. According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/socialization

The process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society.
Social interaction with others.
Exposure of a young domestic animal (such as a kitten or puppy) to a variety of people, animals, and situations to minimize fear and aggression and promote friendliness.
The action or process of making something (such as an industry) socialistic : conversion to collective or governmental ownership and control.

DEFINITION OF CULTURE

According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture

Culture is an umbrella term which encompasses the social behaviour and norms found in human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, arts, laws, customs, capabilities and habits of the individuals in these groups. Humans acquire culture through the learning processes of enculturation and socialization, which is shown by the diversity of cultures across societies. A cultural norm codifies acceptable conduct in society; it serves as guideline for behaviour, dress, language, and demeanour in a situation, which serves as a template for expectations in a social group.

According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/culture

The customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group.
The characteristic features of everyday existence (such as diversions or a way of life) shared by people in a place or time.
The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization.
The set of values, conventions, or social practices associated with a particular field, activity, or societal characteristic.
The integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behaviour that depends upon the capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations.

According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/culture

The way of life, especially the general customs and beliefs, of a particular group of people at a particular time.
The way of life of a particular people, esp. as shown in their ordinary behaviour and habits, their attitudes toward each other, and their moral and religious beliefs.
The arts of describing, showing, or performing that represent the traditions or the way of life of a particular people or group; literature, art, music, dance, theatre, etc.

PROVE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Some people will say a woman is subordinate to men because it’s our culture. But culture is constantly changing. I have beautiful twin nieces who are fifteen. If they had been born a hundred years ago, they would have been taken away and killed. Because a hundred years ago, Igbo culture considered the birth of twins to be an evil omen. Today that practice is unimaginable to all Igbo people.

What is the point of culture? Culture functions ultimately to ensure the preservation and continuity of a people. In my family, I am the child who is most interested in the story of who we are, in ancestral lands, in our tradition. My brothers are not as interested as I am. But I cannot participate, because Igbo culture privileges men and only the male members of the extended family can attend the meetings where major family decisions are taken. So although I am the one who is most interested in these things, I cannot attend the meeting. I cannot have a formal say. Because I am female. Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture. “””””

PROVE 2 (INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””why men have a higher rate of dying by suicide “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://m.guardian.ng/features/how-patriarchy-could-be-spiking-rate-of-suicide-among-men/

https://dailypost.ng/2018/09/12/men-die-suicide-chimamanda-adichie/

Here is her speech:

FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE : “””“Both men and women suffer from the illnesses that lead to suicide but it is men that have a much higher rate of dying by suicide.

“Why? Because men are socialized to suppress so many human parts of themselves, men are socialized not to ask for help, men are socialized to be afraid of fear, men are socialized not to show vulnerability.

“From the moment we tell a little boy that ‘boys don’t cry’ or we tell a hurting teenager to ‘man up’ we are creating an adult man who will be cheated of the full range of his emotions. So, while men benefit from patriarchy, they also suffer from it. ”””””

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically, but socialization exaggerates the differences. And then starts a self-fulfilling process. Take cooking, for example. Today, women in general are more likely to do housework than men—cooking and cleaning. But why is that? Is it because women are born with a cooking gene or because over years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role? I was going to say that perhaps women are born with a cooking gene until I remembered that the majority of famous cooks in the world—who are given the fancy title of “chef”—are men. ”””””

PROVE 4 (FROM SITE/ INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture integrated with appearance (make up) “””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/karenhua/2016/10/21/the-cultural-importance-of-chimamanda-ngozi-adichies-boots-beauty-campaign/amp/

Here is her speech:

“”” Our culture teaches us that to be taken seriously, women should not care too much about their appearance. So I stopped wearing makeup and became a false version of myself,” Adichie said. “But then I woke up because makeup doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s about how I feel when I get it right—what makes me walk ever so taller. It’s about the face I choose to show the world and what I choose to say. ”””

PROVE 5 (FROM SITE/ INTERNET-TALK)

I will backed it up with a powerful ted talk made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture integrated with single story“”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story/transcript?language=en

Here is her speech:

00:12

I’m a storyteller. And I would like to tell you a few personal stories about what I like to call “the danger of the single story.” I grew up on a university campus in eastern Nigeria. My mother says that I started reading at the age of two, although I think four is probably close to the truth. So I was an early reader, and what I read were British and American children’s books.

00:39

I was also an early writer, and when I began to write, at about the age of seven, stories in pencil with crayon illustrations that my poor mother was obligated to read, I wrote exactly the kinds of stories I was reading: All my characters were white and blue-eyed, they played in the snow, they ate apples,

01:04

(Laughter)

01:06

And they talked a lot about the weather, how lovely it was that the sun had come out.

01:10

(Laughter)

01:12

Now, this despite the fact that I lived in Nigeria. I had never been outside Nigeria. We didn’t have snow, we ate mangoes, and we never talked about the weather, because there was no need to.

01:26

My characters also drank a lot of ginger beer, because the characters in the British books I read drank ginger beer. Never mind that I had no idea what ginger beer was.

01:36

(Laughter)

01:37

And for many years afterwards, I would have a desperate desire to taste ginger beer. But that is another story.

01:44

What this demonstrates, I think, is how impressionable and vulnerable we are in the face of a story, particularly as children. Because all I had read were books in which characters were foreign, I had become convinced that books by their very nature had to have foreigners in them and had to be about things with which I could not personally identify. Now, things changed when I discovered African books. There weren’t many of them available, and they weren’t quite as easy to find as the foreign books.

02:15

But because of writers like Chinua Achebe and Camara Laye, I went through a mental shift in my perception of literature. I realized that people like me, girls with skin the color of chocolate, whose kinky hair could not form ponytails, could also exist in literature. I started to write about things I recognized.

02:36

Now, I loved those American and British books I read. They stirred my imagination. They opened up new worlds for me. But the unintended consequence was that I did not know that people like me could exist in literature. So what the discovery of African writers did for me was this: It saved me from having a single story of what books are.

02:59

I come from a conventional, middle-class Nigerian family. My father was a professor. My mother was an administrator. And so we had, as was the norm, live-in domestic help, who would often come from nearby rural villages. So, the year I turned eight, we got a new house boy. His name was Fide. The only thing my mother told us about him was that his family was very poor. My mother sent yams and rice, and our old clothes, to his family. And when I didn’t finish my dinner, my mother would say, “Finish your food! Don’t you know? People like Fide’s family have nothing.” So I felt enormous pity for Fide’s family.

03:43

Then one Saturday, we went to his village to visit, and his mother showed us a beautifully patterned basket made of dyed raffia that his brother had made. I was startled. It had not occurred to me that anybody in his family could actually make something. All I had heard about them was how poor they were, so that it had become impossible for me to see them as anything else but poor. Their poverty was my single story of them.

04:13

Years later, I thought about this when I left Nigeria to go to university in the United States. I was 19. My American roommate was shocked by me. She asked where I had learned to speak English so well, and was confused when I said that Nigeria happened to have English as its official language. She asked if she could listen to what she called my “tribal music,” and was consequently very disappointed when I produced my tape of Mariah Carey.

04:42

(Laughter)

04:45

She assumed that I did not know how to use a stove.

04:49

What struck me was this: She had felt sorry for me even before she saw me. Her default position toward me, as an African, was a kind of patronizing, well-meaning pity. My roommate had a single story of Africa: a single story of catastrophe. In this single story, there was no possibility of Africans being similar to her in any way, no possibility of feelings more complex than pity, no possibility of a connection as human equals.

05:21

I must say that before I went to the U.S., I didn’t consciously identify as African. But in the U.S., whenever Africa came up, people turned to me. Never mind that I knew nothing about places like Namibia. But I did come to embrace this new identity, and in many ways I think of myself now as African. Although I still get quite irritable when Africa is referred to as a country, the most recent example being my otherwise wonderful flight from Lagos two days ago, in which there was an announcement on the Virgin flight about the charity work in “India, Africa and other countries.”

05:55

(Laughter)

05:56

So, after I had spent some years in the U.S. as an African, I began to understand my roommate’s response to me. If I had not grown up in Nigeria, and if all I knew about Africa were from popular images, I too would think that Africa was a place of beautiful landscapes, beautiful animals, and incomprehensible people, fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to speak for themselves and waiting to be saved by a kind, white foreigner. I would see Africans in the same way that I, as a child, had seen Fide’s family.

06:35

This single story of Africa ultimately comes, I think, from Western literature. Now, here is a quote from the writing of a London merchant called John Lok, who sailed to west Africa in 1561 and kept a fascinating account of his voyage. After referring to the black Africans as “beasts who have no houses,” he writes, “They are also people without heads, having their mouth and eyes in their breasts.”

07:05

Now, I’ve laughed every time I’ve read this. And one must admire the imagination of John Lok. But what is important about his writing is that it represents the beginning of a tradition of telling African stories in the West: A tradition of Sub-Saharan Africa as a place of negatives, of difference, of darkness, of people who, in the words of the wonderful poet Rudyard Kipling, are “half devil, half child.”

07:32

And so, I began to realize that my American roommate must have throughout her life seen and heard different versions of this single story, as had a professor, who once told me that my novel was not “authentically African.” Now, I was quite willing to contend that there were a number of things wrong with the novel, that it had failed in a number of places, but I had not quite imagined that it had failed at achieving something called African authenticity. In fact, I did not know what African authenticity was. The professor told me that my characters were too much like him, an educated and middle-class man. My characters drove cars. They were not starving. Therefore they were not authentically African.

08:21

But I must quickly add that I too am just as guilty in the question of the single story. A few years ago, I visited Mexico from the U.S. The political climate in the U.S. at the time was tense, and there were debates going on about immigration. And, as often happens in America, immigration became synonymous with Mexicans. There were endless stories of Mexicans as people who were fleecing the healthcare system, sneaking across the border, being arrested at the border, that sort of thing.

08:54

I remember walking around on my first day in Guadalajara, watching the people going to work, rolling up tortillas in the marketplace, smoking, laughing. I remember first feeling slight surprise. And then, I was overwhelmed with shame. I realized that I had been so immersed in the media coverage of Mexicans that they had become one thing in my mind, the abject immigrant. I had bought into the single story of Mexicans and I could not have been more ashamed of myself.

09:26

So that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.

09:37

It is impossible to talk about the single story without talking about power. There is a word, an Igbo word, that I think about whenever I think about the power structures of the world, and it is “nkali.” It’s a noun that loosely translates to “to be greater than another.” Like our economic and political worlds, stories too are defined by the principle of nkali: How they are told, who tells them, when they’re told, how many stories are told, are really dependent on power.

10:12

Power is the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person. The Palestinian poet Mourid Barghouti writes that if you want to dispossess a people, the simplest way to do it is to tell their story and to start with, “secondly.” Start the story with the arrows of the Native Americans, and not with the arrival of the British, and you have an entirely different story. Start the story with the failure of the African state, and not with the colonial creation of the African state, and you have an entirely different story.

10:52

I recently spoke at a university where a student told me that it was such a shame that Nigerian men were physical abusers like the father character in my novel. I told him that I had just read a novel called “American Psycho” —

11:08

(Laughter)

11:10

— And that it was such a shame that young Americans were serial murderers.

11:15

(Laughter)

11:19

(Applause)

11:25

Now, obviously I said this in a fit of mild irritation.

11:28

(Laughter)

11:30

But it would never have occurred to me to think that just because I had read a novel in which a character was a serial killer that he was somehow representative of all Americans. This is not because I am a better person than that student, but because of America’s cultural and economic power, I had many stories of America. I had read Tyler and Updike and Steinbeck and Gaitskill. I did not have a single story of America.

11:55

When I learned, some years ago, that writers were expected to have had really unhappy childhoods to be successful, I began to think about how I could invent horrible things my parents had done to me.

12:08

(Laughter)

12:10

But the truth is that I had a very happy childhood, full of laughter and love, in a very close-knit family.

12:17

But I also had grandfathers who died in refugee camps. My cousin Polle died because he could not get adequate healthcare. One of my closest friends, Okoloma, died in a plane crash because our fire trucks did not have water. I grew up under repressive military governments that devalued education, so that sometimes, my parents were not paid their salaries. And so, as a child, I saw jam disappear from the breakfast table, then margarine disappeared, then bread became too expensive, then milk became rationed. And most of all, a kind of normalized political fear invaded our lives.

12:57

All of these stories make me who I am. But to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and to overlook the many other stories that formed me. The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.

13:25

Of course, Africa is a continent full of catastrophes: There are immense ones, such as the horrific rapes in Congo and depressing ones, such as the fact that 5,000 people apply for one job vacancy in Nigeria. But there are other stories that are not about catastrophe, and it is very important, it is just as important, to talk about them.

13:45

I’ve always felt that it is impossible to engage properly with a place or a person without engaging with all of the stories of that place and that person. The consequence of the single story is this: It robs people of dignity. It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are similar.

14:09

So what if before my Mexican trip, I had followed the immigration debate from both sides, the U.S. and the Mexican? What if my mother had told us that Fide’s family was poor and hardworking? What if we had an African television network that broadcast diverse African stories all over the world? What the Nigerian writer Chinua Achebe calls “a balance of stories.”

14:33

What if my roommate knew about my Nigerian publisher, Muhtar Bakare, a remarkable man who left his job in a bank to follow his dream and start a publishing house? Now, the conventional wisdom was that Nigerians don’t read literature. He disagreed. He felt that people who could read, would read, if you made literature affordable and available to them.

14:56

Shortly after he published my first novel, I went to a TV station in Lagos to do an interview, and a woman who worked there as a messenger came up to me and said, “I really liked your novel. I didn’t like the ending. Now, you must write a sequel, and this is what will happen …”

15:11

(Laughter)

15:14

And she went on to tell me what to write in the sequel. I was not only charmed, I was very moved. Here was a woman, part of the ordinary masses of Nigerians, who were not supposed to be readers. She had not only read the book, but she had taken ownership of it and felt justified in telling me what to write in the sequel.

15:33

Now, what if my roommate knew about my friend Funmi Iyanda, a fearless woman who hosts a TV show in Lagos, and is determined to tell the stories that we prefer to forget? What if my roommate knew about the heart procedure that was performed in the Lagos hospital last week? What if my roommate knew about contemporary Nigerian music, talented people singing in English and Pidgin, and Igbo and Yoruba and Ijo, mixing influences from Jay-Z to Fela to Bob Marley to their grandfathers.

16:06

What if my roommate knew about the female lawyer who recently went to court in Nigeria to challenge a ridiculous law that required women to get their husband’s consent before renewing their passports? What if my roommate knew about Nollywood, full of innovative people making films despite great technical odds, films so popular that they really are the best example of Nigerians consuming what they produce? What if my roommate knew about my wonderfully ambitious hair braider, who has just started her own business selling hair extensions? Or about the millions of other Nigerians who start businesses and sometimes fail, but continue to nurse ambition?

16:47

Every time I am home I am confronted with the usual sources of irritation for most Nigerians: our failed infrastructure, our failed government, but also by the incredible resilience of people who thrive despite the government, rather than because of it. I teach writing workshops in Lagos every summer, and it is amazing to me how many people apply, how many people are eager to write, to tell stories.

17:14

My Nigerian publisher and I have just started a non-profit called Farafina Trust, and we have big dreams of building libraries and refurbishing libraries that already exist and providing books for state schools that don’t have anything in their libraries, and also of organizing lots and lots of workshops, in reading and writing, for all the people who are eager to tell our many stories.

17:36

Stories matter. Many stories matter. Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign, but stories can also be used to empower and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people, but stories can also repair that broken dignity.

17:56

The American writer Alice Walker wrote this about her Southern relatives who had moved to the North. She introduced them to a book about the Southern life that they had left behind. “They sat around, reading the book themselves, listening to me read the book, and a kind of paradise was regained.”

18:17

I would like to end with this thought: That when we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise.

18:30

Thank you.

18:31

(Applause)

10. DOMESTIC CHORES,HOUSE CHORE, HOUSE KEEPING – COOKING

DEFINITION OF CHORES

According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chore

The regular or daily light work of a household or farm
A routine task or job
A difficult or disagreeable task.

According to.Cambridge. Dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/chore

A job or piece of work that is often boring or unpleasant but needs to be done regularly

DEFINITION OF HOUSEHOLD-CHORES

According to Collins dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.collinsdictionary.com/amp/english/household-chores

Tasks such as cleaning, washing, and ironing that have to be done regularly at home.household chores, such as cleaning and cooking

According to ldoceonline dictionary

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/chore

A small job that you have to do regularly, especially work that you do to keep a house clean everyday chores like shopping and housework
Something you have to do that is very boring and unpleasant

According to telegraph

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11141910/36-household-chores-men-dont-bother-to-do.html

We have 36 household chores men don’t bother to do

Weekly clean
Daily clean
Vacuuming
Cleaning kitchen/bathroom
Heavy duty kitchen cleaning (oven/fridge)
Tidying up
Washing clothes
Washing bedding
Changing sheets
Ironing
Managing the family budget
Organising car insurance
Organising home insurance
Organising payment of utility bills
Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues
Liaising with school/nursery over trips
Being the first person called if there’s a problem at school/nursery
Packing schoolbags
Doing/supervising homework
Arranging childcare
Arranging applications for primary/secondary school
Arranging play dates
Taking children to clubs
Organising birthday parties
Buying clothes
Organising Christmas
Buying family presents/cards
Managing doctor/dentist/optician appointments
Looking after children at evenings and weekends
Preparing activities for your partner to look after the children at evenings and weekends
Reading bedtime stories
Looking after poorly children
Taking time off work to look after poorly children
Settling children that wake in the night
Organising birthday presents for family members
Booking holidays

DEFINITION OF HOUSEKEEPING

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housekeeping

Housekeeping refers to the management of duties and chores involved in the running of a household, such as cleaning, cooking, home maintenance, shopping, and bill payment. These tasks may be performed by members of the household, or by other persons hired for the purpose. The term is also used to refer to the money allocated for such use. By extension, an office or organization, as well as the maintenance of computer storage systems.

DEFINITION OF COOKING

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooking

Cooking or cookery is the art, technology, science and craft of preparing food for consumption.

PROVE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

”””” I know a woman who has the same degree and same job as her husband. When they get back from work, she does most of the housework, which is true for many marriages, but what struck me was that whenever he changed the baby’s diaper, she said thank you to him. What if she saw it as something normal and natural, that he should help care for his child? “”””

PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I know a woman who hates domestic work, but she pretends that she likes it, because she has been taught that to be “good wife material,” she has to be—to use that Nigerian word—homely. And then she got married. And her husband’s family began to complain that she had changed. Actually, she had not changed. She just got tired of pretending to be what she was not. The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations. “””””

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the first Suggestion

“”” I have no interest in the debate about women ‘doing it all’ because it is a debate that assumes that care-giving and domestic work are singularly female domains, an idea that I strongly reject. Domestic work and care-giving should be gender-neutral, and we should be asking not whether a woman can ‘do it all’ but how best to support parents in their dual duties at work and at home. ”””

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

”””” She can counter ideas about static ‘gender roles’ if she has been empowered by her familiarity with alternatives. If she knows an uncle who cooks well – and does so with indifference – then she can smile and brush off the foolishness of somebody who claims that ‘women must do the cooking. ””””

PROVE 5 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi she says in her book:

PROVE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned. Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally have. It is also a skill that can elude both men and women. We also need to question the idea of marriage as a prize to women, because that is the basis of these absurd debates. If we stop conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize. It is interesting to me how early the world starts to invent gender roles.”””””

PROVE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

“”” There have been recent Nigerian social media debates about women and cooking, about how wives have to cook for husbands. It is funny, in the way that sad things are funny, that we are still talking about cooking as some kind of marriageability test for women. The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned. Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally have. It is also a skill that can elude both men and women “””

PROVE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””“Take cooking, for example. Today, women in general are more likely to do housework than men— cooking and cleaning. But why is that? Is it because women are born with a cooking gene or because over years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role? I was going to say that perhaps women are born with a cooking gene until I remembered that the majority of famous cooks in the world—who are given the fancy title of “chef”—are men. But what matters even more is our attitude, our mind-set. What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on interest instead of gender? I know a family who has a son and a daughter, a year apart in age, both brilliant at school. When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl, Go and cook Indomie noodles for your brother. The girl doesn’t like to cook Indomie, but she is a girl and she has to. What if the parents, from the beginning, taught both children to cook Indomie? Cooking, by the way, is a useful and practical life skill for a boy to have—I’ve never thought it made much sense to leave such a crucial thing—the ability to nourish oneself —in the hands of others. ””””

PROVE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixths Suggestion

””””” Teach her to ask questions like: what are the things that women cannot do because they are women? Do these things have cultural prestige? If so, why are only men allowed to do the things that have cultural prestige? It is helpful, I think, to use everyday examples. Remember that television commercial we watched in Lagos, where a man cooks and his claps for him? True progress is when she doesn’t clap for him but just reacts to the food itself – she can either praise the food or not praise the food, just as he can praise hers or not praise hers, but what is sexist is that she is praising the fact that he has undertaken the act of cooking, praise that implies that cooking is an inherently female act. “”””

This should give men a little rethink about cooking and house/domestic chores. Which I personally are meant to be shared equally between the two partners. As for me (PATRICKREALSTORIES.WORDPRESS.COM) cooking, domestic chores- cleaning sweeping, mopping are supposed to be shared equally. Cooking was never meant for women. Anybody can cook whether male or female.

11. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

DEFINITION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

According to Wikipedia

Domestic violence (also named domestic abuse or family violence) is violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. It may be termed intimate partner violence when committed by a spouse or partner in an intimate relationship against the other spouse or partner, and can take place in heterosexual or same-sex relationships, or between former spouses or partners.

Domestic violence can also involve violence against children, parents, or the elderly.

FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The following are some facts about domestic violence:

Occurs in all socio-economic groups, all religious groups, all races, and all ethnic groups and within all form of relationship, to people of all ages and physical abilities.
Is perpetrated against women in 95% of cases.
Is the single greatest cause of injury to women in this country?
Includes psychological, verbal or emotional abuse that can be as devastating as the physical violence.
Something that has happened to people you know; perhaps your neighbor, friend, sister, mother, your co-worker or even yourself.

EVIDENCE FROM “”PURPLE HABISCUS”” TO SUPPORT THE OCCURRENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi employed a narrative approach to explore the theme of domestic violence. I will examined how fifteen-year-old girl (Kambili) whose father is a violent, extremist Igbo Catholic did a great harm of domestic violence to them. Because of her young age she was gentle as well as honest thus allowed her to portray to the audience the kind of violence she and the other members of her family were subjected to by Eugene (their father).

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi utilized all of her characters (Eugene and his household) in presenting the different perspectives of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

PROVE (FROM INTERNET/SITE-INTERVIEW)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned ““the connection of single story with domestic violence””

For further reading here is the links to convince you:

https://www.compasspoint.org/blog/domestic-violence-and-shackles-single-story

Here are the questions that the interviewer ask her

Jennifer Chen Speckman – So what does this notion of a single story have to do with domestic violence?

FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi– Domestic violence is what people aren’t talking about. News stories reference estranged spouses, “high-conflict marriages,” or “custody battles,” but never domestic violence. In the discussion of differing priorities—whether it be gun violence, opportunity youth, mental health, education, or child welfare—it is essential to comprehend why it is so uncomfortable to acknowledge the larger picture—the one where the complexity of a domestic violence dynamic operating in a single household can wreak such havoc in the world. Prescribing a single story to the situation creates comfort. We pretend we know how things stand for other people. Assigning space for multiple stories opens our eyes to oppression, systemic failures, and incredible human cruelty. People don’t want to think about it. However, research shows us that we cannot ignore it and we cannot afford to assign a single story.

Jennifer Chen Speckman – So where do we go from here and where do the solutions lie?

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi–

First, we must come to the table with openness and curiosity to find our client as a multi-faceted human being, a full picture of historical legacies, power dynamics, social norms, political forces, and personal perspectives.

The next step is to empower children, families, and adults to find the multitude of their personal narratives. Research conducted by Sara and Marshall Duke at Emory University shows that children who have a strong sense of family narrative demonstrate greater self-confidence and resilience than those without. (“The Stories that Bind Us,” New York Times). Historical contexts of oppression and resilience matter, and connection to those complexities result in empowerment. How are children to find their family narrative if their family is marginalized and shackled to a single story?

Finally, we must acknowledge that domestic violence exists in our society in part because of the oppression of the single story. The oppression of women and children has existed since the beginning of human history; not too long ago, women and children were considered property and what happened in the home was private. We cannot think that such oppression will be eradicated easily. The WDVN challenges the community to view domestic violence as a confluence of stories about power dynamics and oppression, permeating all elements of historic legacies, life, well-being, family, and community. We ask that members of the community reflect and support every child’s and parent’s right to exist beyond a single story. The ability to allow for many stories ultimately will foster a community which is strong and empowered in mind, body, and soul.

FORMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE THAT OCCUR IN THE NOVEL “PURPLE HABICUS”

They are two major form of violence that occur in the novel, which I personally will use to explain my own evidence/prove of domestic violence. They are

physical abuse
emotional/psychological abuse

1. PHYSICAL ABUSE

According to the U.S Department of Justice (2007), Physical abuse which on its own is a form of Domestic violence, is usually intended to cause pain, injury, other physical suffering or bodily harm.

Physical violence can be the as a result of other abusive behaviours, such as threats, intimidation, and restriction of victim self-determination through isolation, manipulation and other limitations of personal freedom.

Physical abuse often begins with less violent assaults such as pushing. As the abuse continues, however, it becomes increasingly violent. Abusers often target areas of the body that are usually covered with clothing because the injuries are less likely to be visible to others. Acts of physical abuse include:

Pushing
Restraining
Shaking
Slapping
Biting
Punching
Kicking
Throwing objects at the victim
beating
Using weapons
Strangulation
Withholding medications
Attempting to force miscarriage
Scratching
Biting
Pulling hair
Refuse to help when sick, injured or disabled
Using or threatening to use weapons

In reference to purple hibiscus, the physical violence that occur in the novel include:

Pushing
Slapping
Biting
Punching
Kicking
Throwing objects at the victim
beating

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

In FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi popular literature book “”” PURPLE HABISCUS “””

Kimbali recounts the throwing of the Catholic missal at her by her father for refusing to receive Holy Communion.

PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

In FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi popular literature book “”” PURPLE HIBISCUS “””

There is a continuous beatings, Kimbali’s mother received from Eugene that led to several miscarriages. This is as a result from physical abuse received from her by her husband Eugene.

This is how Beatrice recounts her experiences to Aunty Ifeoma, her sister in-law, who lives in Nsukka:

“””” I got back from the hospital today. The doctor told me to rest but I took Eugene‘s money and asked Kevin to take me to the Park. I hired a taxi and came here… You know that small table where we keep the family Bible? [Eugene] broke it on my belly. My blood finished on that floor even before he took me to St. Agnes [Hospital]. My doctor said there was nothing he could do to save [the pregnancy]… (248). “”””

In this incident, Eugene beats his pregnant wife to the point of miscarriage over a domestic dispute. Her inability to bear more children in the marriage she attributes to the constant beating and subsequent miscarriages that follows each beating by her husband. After her discharge from the hospital, Eugene invites the priest to his house for him to cleanse the house from all unrighteousness and pray for the forgiveness of his wife‘s sin of disobedience.

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

In FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi popular literature book “”” PURPLE HABISCUS “””

Eugene, who sees himself as a devout catholic sets a standard in his house that does not allow for any flexibility. Rules on appropriate behaviour at home and outside the home are set. When a routine is violated against his instructions, Eugene reacts by acts of violence in which his wife is the principal recipient. An instance in the novel is when his wife is reluctant to visit the priest after mass because of her pregnant status, beats her up, despite being aware of her pregnant status. Kambili describes the scene thus:

“”””” I was in my room after lunch, reading James chapter five, when I heard the sounds. Swift, heavy thuds on my parent‘s hand-carved bedroom door I imagined the door had gotten stuck and Papa was trying to open it. If I imagined it hard enough, then it would be true. I sat down, closed my eyes, and started to count. Counting made it seem not that long, made it seem not that bad. Sometimes it was over before I even got to twenty. I was at nineteen when the sounds stopped. I heard the door open. Papa gait on the stairs sounded heavier, more awkward than usual […] Mama was slung over his shoulder like the jute sacks of rice his factory workers bought in bulk at the Seme border. (32-33) “””””

2. EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE

Emotional/psychological abuse is a tool used by those who want to make their partners feel scared, crazy, worthless, or responsible for the abuse. The abuser’s goal is control over the victim. Emotional abuse may include:

Making jokes about the victim
threats
isolation
unrelenting criticism,
constant personal devaluation, and
gas lighting
Insults
Criticizing the victim’s competence
Ignoring the victim’s feelings
Withholding affection as a form of punishment
Blaming the victim for all problems
Yelling at the victim
Humiliating the victim in front of others
Accusing the victim of being the abusive partner
Threatening to take the children away from the victim
Threatening physical violence
Extreme jealousy
Hiding or destroying important belongings
Frequent demands to know where she is and with whom
Alienation/Separation from family and friends
Public humiliation

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

In FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi popular literature book ““” PURPLE HABISCUS “””

Eugene who is a violent man in Achike household, subjected his wife Beatrice, Kambili his daughter, and his son Jaja to beatings and psychological abuse.

(•MAMA’S FINAL BEATING p. 247-8 • Mama arrives in Nsukka in slippers • She takes Eugene’s money • He had broken the family Bible on her belly • “My blood finished on that floor before he took me to St Agnes. My doctor said there was nothing he could do to save it.” • She was 6 weeks pregnant and had not told Eugene • her act of coming to Nsukka – shows increased resistance on her part. • )

PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

In FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi popular literature book “”” PURPLE HABISCUS “””

Kimbali and Beatrice as well as Jaja for some time experience high amounts of stress, fear, and anxiety while living with their perpetrator (Eugene)

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

In FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi popular literature book “”” PURPLE HABISCUS “””

Depression is also common, as victims are made to feel guilty for ‘provoking’ the abuse and are frequently subjected to intense criticism as this could be vividly seen in the novel when it became too unbearable and led to the poisoning of Eugene by Beatrice. The sense of guilt prompted Jaja to take full responsibility for his father’s death and this landed him in the prison walls for three years until he was granted amnesty at the end of Adichie’s narrative thus making him brew differently when he faced prison violence.

(209 • Both she and Jaja claim responsibility • Papa rips up the picture. • Kambili hugs painting as she is kicked and beaten by Papa • She wakes up in hospital with broken ribs •

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

In FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi popular literature book “”” PURPLE HABISCUS “””

Kambili ordinary life is illuminated through the subtexts of violence, silence and wounded bodies that depict a long-suffering and traumatised existence. Scars left behind by constant torturous punishments, like Jaja’s crooked finger and Mama’s(Beatrice) awkward limp. Father‘s expectations demand absolute perfection and anything less provokes his unpredictable rage and cruel punishments. Kambili summarizes their everyday existence as:

“”””Our steps on the stairs were as measured and as silent as our Sundays: the silence of waiting until Papa was done with his siesta so we could have lunch; the silence of reflection time, when Papa gave us a scripture passage or book by one of the early church fathers to read and meditate on; the silence of the evening rosary; the silence of driving to the church for benediction afterward. (P.31) “”””

STRATEGIES USED TO ADDRESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Here are some key strategies used to address domestic violence based on the novel “PURPLE HABISCUS”

Counselling strategy (assessment of the presence, extent and types of abuse)
Prevention and intervention strategies

1.Counselling strategy

This strategy was used by ifeoma in “PURPLE HIBISCUS”, here ifeoma tries to caution and Counsel Beatrice.

“This cannot go on, nwunye m,” Aunty Ifeoma said. “When a house is on fire, you run out before the roof collapses on your head.”

(• Aunty Ifeoma, Page 213•)

2. Prevention and intervention strategies

These includes ways to prevent domestic violence by offering safe shelter, crisis intervention, advocacy, and education and prevention programs as did Aunty Ifeoma in Purple Hibiscus.

(• Kambili and Jaja are taken back to Nsukka to be cared for by their aunt. P. 219 • • Aunty Ifeoma and Father Amadi visit and convince Eugene to let Kambili go to Nsukka)

Thoughtful questions to ask yourself about domestic violence in the novel “PURPLE HIBISCUS”

What has made Papa such a violent father?
What kinds of things trigger his violence?
Why don’t his wife and children actively resist his violence earlier?
What do you think of Amaka’s statement “Some people can’t handle stress”?
Do you think Mama’s action was justified?
Why do you think Jaja wanted to take the blame for her crime?
What kind of message does the novel as a whole give us about domestic violence?

11. ACT OF CHIVALRY

DEFINITION OF CHIVALRY

a. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chivalry

Chivalry, or the chivalric code, is an informal, varying code of conduct developed between 1170 and 1220, but never decided on or summarized in a single document. It was associated with the medieval Christian institution of knighthood; knights’ and gentlewomen’s behaviours were governed [when?] by chivalrous social codes.

b. According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/chivalry

very polite, honest, and kind behaviour, especially by men towards women
The system of behaviour followed by knights in the medieval period of history, that put a high value on honour, kindness, and courage.

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi talk on act of chivalry was another treason I love her. The idea was a very big idea that she raised. Which causes some controversies in one of her talk show. As a lover of her idea about feminism. I did a research on chivalry and I found more proves about it. The proves are listed below:

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixth Suggestion

“””” Teach her, too, to question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be ‘revered’ and ‘championed’ – a sentiment that is all too common. Tell Chizalum that women actually don’t need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women needing to be ‘championed and revered’ because they are women. It makes me think of chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness. “”””””

PROVE 2 (FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned ““her personal view on chivalry””

For further reading here is the links to convince you:

https://m.guardian.ng/life/nigerians-divided-over-chimamanda-adichies-chivalry-comment/

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi : “”””I think just like holding the door shouldn’t be gender because we should open the door for every one. I hold the door for men and women. I think the idea of sort of holding the door for a woman because she is a woman, I have trouble with, I’m quite happy for people to hold the door for me i hope they are not doing for the sort of idea of chivalry because chivalry is the idea of women are somehow weak and need protecting but we know that there many women who are stronger than men “”””

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/blogs-trending-44413286

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi explained she was happy for people to hold the door for her but hoped “they’re not doing it for this idea of chivalry,” as it could imply weakness on the woman’s part.

https://www.google.com/amp/www.click042.com/features/opinion/whataboutism-chimamanda-adichie-chivalry/amp/

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi states “””” I think gestures like holding the door shouldn’t be gender-based. I think it’s a lovely thing to hold the door but we should hold the door for everyone. Like, I hold the door for men and women. And so I think the idea of someone holding the door for a woman because she’s a woman…I have trouble with it. ””””

https://www.olisa.tv/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-triggers-another-heated-debate-after-sharing-thoughts-on-chivalry/

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi said: “””“I think just like holding the door shouldn’t be gender because we should open the door for every one. I hold the door for men and women. I think the idea of sort of holding the door for a woman because she is a woman, I have trouble with, I’m quite happy for people to hold the door for me i hope they are not doing for the sort of idea of chivalry because chivalry is the idea of women are somehow weak and need protecting but we know that there many women who are stronger than men.

Which is also why I have issues with women and children when women are classified…when there is a tragedy and we say women and children should live first. I think actually it is the people who are weak and unwell who should leave first.””””

13. WOMEN APPEARANCE (SEXUALITY AND SHAME)

DEFINITION OF APPEARANCE

1. According to. Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/appearance

An occasion when someone appears in public
An occasion when someone goes to court to be officially involved in a trial:
a public performance by an entertainer:
To be present somewhere for a short time

2.According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/appearance

External show: SEMBLANCE
Outward aspect: LOOK

DEFINITION OF SEXUALITY

1. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexuality

Human sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves sexually. This involves biological, erotic, physical, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviours.

2. According to Cambridge dictionary

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/sexuality

Someone’s ability to experience or express sexual feelings:
Attitudes and activities relating to sex

3. According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexuality

The quality or state of being sexual:
The condition of having sex
Sexual activity
Expression of sexual receptivity or interest especially when excessive

DEFINITION OF SHAME

1. According to Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame

Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self, withdrawal motivations, and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness.

2. According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shame

A painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.
The susceptibility to such emotion.
Condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute: IGNOMINY.
Something that brings censure or reproach.
Something to be regretted: PITY.

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””The sad truth of the matter is that when it comes to appearance, we start off with men as the standard, as the norm. Many of us think that the less feminine a woman appears, the more likely she is to be taken seriously. A man going to a business meeting doesn’t wonder about being taken seriously based on what he is wearing—but a woman does. S”””

PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” We teach girls shame. Close your legs. Cover yourself. We make them feel as though by being born female, they are already guilty of something. And so girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. Who silence themselves. Who cannot say what they truly think. Who have turned pretence into an art form. “””””

PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“”””” Sadly, women have learned to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and make-up. But our society does not expect men to feel ashamed of pursuits considered generally male – sports cars, certain professional sports. In the same way, men’s grooming is never suspect in the way women’s grooming is – a well-dressed man does not worry that, because he is dressed well, certain assumptions might be made about his intelligence, his ability, or his seriousness. A woman, on the other hand, is always aware of how a bright lipstick or a carefully put-together outfit might very well make others assume her to be frivolous. “””””

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity. And I want to be respected in all my femaleness. Because I deserve to be. I like politics and history and am happiest when having a good argument about ideas. I am girly. I am happily girly.

I like high heels and trying on lipsticks. It’s nice to be complimented by both men and women (although I have to be honest and say that I prefer the compliments of stylish women), but I often wear clothes that men don’t like or don’t “understand.” I wear them because I like them and because I feel good in them. The “male gaze,” as a shaper of my life’s choices, is largely incidental. “””””

PROVE 5 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way boys are. If we have sons, we don’t mind knowing about their girlfriends. But our daughters’ boyfriends? God forbid. (But we of course expect them to bring home the perfect man for marriage when the time is right.) “””””

PROVE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”””” In every culture in the world, female sexuality is about shame. Even cultures that expect women to be sexy – like many in the West – still do not expect them to be sexual. The shame we attach to female sexuality is about control. Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another. If the justification for controlling women’s bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was ‘women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do’.

Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be ‘covered up’ to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men. “””””

PROVE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Suggestion

“”””””“Teach her, too, to question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be ‘revered’ and ‘championed’ – a sentiment that is all too common. Tell Chizalum that women actually don’t need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women needing to be ‘championed and revered’ because they are women. It makes me think of chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness. “”””””

PROVE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

‘’”” Be deliberate about how you engage with her and her appearance. Encourage her participation in sports. Teach her to be physically active. Take walks with her. Swim. Run. Play tennis. Football. Table tennis. All kinds of sports. Any kind of sports. I think this is important not only because of the obvious health benefits but because it can help with all the body-image insecurities that the world thrusts on girls. Let Chizalum know that there is great value in being active. Studies show that girls generally stop playing sports as puberty arrives. Not surprising. Breasts and self-consciousness can get in the way of sports – I stopped playing football when my breasts first appeared because all I wanted to do was hide the existence of my breasts, and running and tackling didn’t help. Please try not to let that get in her way. ‘’”””

PROVE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“””And speaking of shame – never, ever link sexuality and shame. Or nakedness and shame. Do not ever make ‘virginity’ a focus. Every conversation about virginity becomes a conversation about shame. Teach her to reject the linking of shame and female biology. Why were we raised to speak in low tones about periods? To be filled with shame if our menstrual blood happened to stain our skirt? Periods are nothing to be ashamed of. Periods are normal and natural, and the human species would not be here if periods did not exist. I remember a man who said a period was like shit. Well, sacred shit, I told him, because you wouldn’t be here if periods didn’t happen.”””

PROVE 10 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“”””” If she likes make-up, let her wear it. If she likes fashion, let her dress up. But if she doesn’t like either, let her be. Don’t think that raising her feminist means forcing her to reject femininity. Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are. “”””

PROVE 11 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“””””” Never ever link Chizalum’s appearance with morality. Never tell her that a short skirt is ‘immoral’. Make dressing a question of taste and attractiveness instead of a question of morality. If you both clash over what she wants to wear, never say things like ‘You look like a prostitute’, as I know your mother once told you. Instead say: ‘That dress doesn’t flatter you like this other one.’ Or doesn’t fit as well. Or doesn’t look as attractive. Or is simply ugly. But never ‘immoral’. Because clothes have absolutely nothing to do with morality. “”””””

PROVE 12 (FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture and appearance “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/karenhua/2016/10/21/the-cultural-importance-of-chimamanda-ngozi-adichies-boots-beauty-campaign/amp/

FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE says-

“Our culture teaches us that to be taken seriously, women should not care too much about their appearance. So I stopped wearing makeup and became a false version of myself,” “But then I woke up because makeup doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s about how I feel when I get it right—what makes me walk ever so taller. It’s about the face I choose to show the world and what I choose to say.”

In her Feminists TED Talk, she recalls preparing to teach a graduate class and thinking, “I was worried that if I looked too feminine, I would not be taken seriously. I really wanted to wear my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt, but I decided not to. I wore a very serious, very manly, and very ugly suit… I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity. And I want to be respected in all my femaleness because I deserve to be.”

Adichie told FORBES, “I love makeup and its possibilities for temporary transformation, but I also love my face after I wash it all off. (Makeup is) about what I like—what makes me feel slightly better on a dull day—what makes me comfortable.”

PROVE 12 (FROM HER BOOK)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture and appearance “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE says-

“”””” I’m truly, truly happy to be here today, so happy, in fact, that when I found out your class colour was yellow, I decided I would wear yellow eye shadow. But on second thoughts, I realized that as much as I admire Wellesley, even yellow eye-shadow was a bit too much of a gesture. So I dug out this yellow—yellowish—head wrap instead.

“It’s Heart breaking for us.” Syrian Students’ Struggle to Study in the U.S.

Speaking of eye shadow, I wasn’t very interested in makeup until I was in my twenties, which is when I began to wear makeup. Because of a man. A loud, unpleasant man. He was one of the guests at a friend’s dinner party. I was also a guest. I was about 23, but people often told me I looked 12. The conversation at dinner was about traditional Igbo culture, about the custom that allows only men to break the kola nut, and the kola nut is a deeply symbolic part of Igbo cosmology.

I argued that it would be better if that honour were based on achievement rather than gender, and he looked at me and said, dismissively, “You don’t know what you are talking about, you’re a small girl.”

I wanted him to disagree with the substance of my argument, but by looking at me, young and female, it was easy for him to dismiss what I said. So I decided to try to look older.

So I thought lipstick might help. And eyeliner.

And I am grateful to that man because I have since come to love makeup, and its wonderful possibilities for temporary transformation.

So, I have not told you this anecdote as a way to illustrate my discovery of gender injustice. If anything, it’s really just an ode to makeup.

It’s really just to say that this, your graduation, is a good time to buy some lipsticks—if makeup is your sort of thing—because a good shade of lipstick can always put you in a slightly better mood on dark days. “””””

14. MONEY

DEFINITION OF MONEY

1. According to Wikipedia

Money is any item or verifiable record that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts, such as taxes, in a particular country or socio-economic context. The main functions of money are distinguished as: a medium of exchange, a unit of account, a store of value and sometimes, a standard of deferred payment. Any item or verifiable record that fulfils these functions can be considered as money.

2. According to merriam-webster dictionary

https://www.merriam-webster.co m/dictionary/money

Something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment: such as
Officially coined or stamped metal currency

According to Collins dictionary

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/amp/english/money

Money is the coins or bank notes that you use to buy things, or the sum that you have in a bank account.
Monies is used to refer to several separate sums of money that form part of a larger amount that is received or spent.

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” I want to say something about money here. Teach her never ever to say such nonsense as ‘my money is my money and his money is our money’. It is vile. And dangerous – to have that attitude means that you must potentially accept other harmful ideas as well. Teach her that it is NOT a man’s role to provide. In a healthy relationship, it is the role of whoever can provide to provide. “”””

PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.) What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not “the boy has to pay,” but rather, “whoever has more should pay.””””

PROVE 3 (FROM SITE/INTERNET-SPEECH)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture and appearance ““””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://amp.theguardian.com/books/2007/jun/08/orangeprizeforfiction2007.orangeprizeforfiction

FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE says-

“””Creative writing programmes are not very necessary.They just exist so that people like us can make a living.”””

PROVE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” AMERICANAH “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” There are many different ways to be poor in the world but increasingly there seems to be one single way to be rich. “”””

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

University of Benin

www.facebook.com/patrickstories

22 comments

Tisha says:

January 9, 2020 at 5:05 am

This was indeed a very well researched and nicely presented post. Her views are indeed strong and relatable. And thank you for sharing this post.

The thing that struck me most was the point about “likeability” indeed its an issue nowadays. We are concerned bout what other think of us. Ofc we should be concerned bout others and respect their views but not to such an extent that it destroys our individuality.

Many girls are shy while many are bold. It’s there personal choice and shouldn’t be intefered by others. If they want to change something bout themselves, it should be for the sake of their own improvement and not for achieving anyone else’s liking.
And I strongly believe that not only girls, but boys too face gender issues. And feminism is actually bout equality of women, which in turn means equality of men too. It doesn’t demean men in any way. Many people take it in the wrong way.And this misconception should be removed.
Thank you again for this wonderful post. 🙂

LikeLiked by 2 people

Reply
- PATRICK STORIES says:
  
  January 9, 2020 at 8:26 pm
  
  Oh am touch by this comment, this blew my mind away and I gave it a thoughtful reading to get you point. Thank you for taking the time to share these beautiful comments through these words.
  
  These words are painted in truth, experience and perspective. I especially love how you started it
  (This was indeed a very well researched and nicely presented post) and how you ended the comment (Thank you again for this wonderful post).
  
  Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with women/girls based on been “” LIKEABLE “”.
  
  I was able to bring out some points from your comment.
  I guess I loved your points on this and am touched by it.
  
  1. The thing that struck me most was the point about “likeability” indeed its an issue nowadays. We are concerned about what others think of us.
  
  2. Many girls are shy while many are bold. It’s there personal choice and shouldn’t be interfered by others. If they want to change something about themselves, it should be for the sake of their own improvement and not for achieving anyone else’s liking.
  
  3. And I strongly believe that not only girls, but boys too face gender issues. And feminism is actually about equality of women, which in turn means equality of men too. It doesn’t demean men in any way. Many people take it in the wrong way. And this misconception should be removed.
  
  From point 1-
  “”””” The thing that struck me most was the point about “likeability” indeed its an issue nowadays. We are concerned about what others think of us.
  
  “”””
  Patrick Explanation-
  I know its gonna strike you. That was why I place it first.We live in a world of hatred and likeness. This things are what we teach people in our daily live about love, likeness and kindness. We say to people, just like yourself and like others no matter how the person hurt you.
  
  From point 2-
  “””””Many girls are shy while many are bold. It’s there personal choice and shouldn’t be interfered by others. If they want to change something about themselves, it should be for the sake of their own improvement and not for achieving anyone else’s liking. “””””””
  
  Patrick explanation-
  Being shy is another aspect of shame or been ashamed to speak up. These are the disadvantage of likeability. Been shy has lead people not expressing there kind of person to others. And this people take advantage of it and use it against you.
  
  About shy, shame and ashamed , I will back it up with my favourite FEMINIST/WRITER Chimamanda NGOZI Adichie
  
  PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)
  
  According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  From the Twelfth Suggestion
  “”””” Talk to her about sex, and start early. Remember that seminar we went to in class 3 where we were supposed to be taught about ‘sexuality’ but instead we listened to vague semi threats about how ‘talking to boys’ would end up with us being pregnant and disgraced? I remember that hall and that seminar as a place filled with shame. Ugly shame. The particular brand of shame that has to do with being female. With her, don’t pretend that sex is merely a controlled act of reproduction. Or an ‘only in marriage’ act, because that is disingenuous. “””””
  
  PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)
  According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  From the Twelfth Suggestion
  
  “”””Do not ever make ‘virginity’ a focus. Every conversation about virginity becomes a conversation about shame. Teach her to reject the linking of shame and female biology. “”””
  
  PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)
  According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  From the twelfth suggestion
  
  “””””And speaking of shame – never, ever link sexuality and shame. Or nakedness and shame. Do not ever make ‘virginity’ a focus. Every conversation about virginity becomes a conversation about shame. Teach her to reject the linking of shame and female biology. Why were we raised to speak in low tones about periods? To be filled with shame if our menstrual blood happened to stain our skirt? Periods are nothing to be ashamed of. Periods are normal and natural, and the human species would not be here if periods did not exist. I remember a man who said a period was like shit. Well, sacred shit, I told him, because you wouldn’t be here if periods didn’t happen. “””””
  
  From point 3–
  “””‘””” And I strongly believe that not only girls, but boys too face gender issues. And feminism is actually about equality of women, which in turn means equality of men too. It doesn’t demean men in any way. Many people take it in the wrong way. And this misconception should be removed.
  
  ‘”””””
  Patrick Explanation–
  That is true I underpinned your above point. Boys suffered from gender issues also. The idea about feminism concerns basically women and women equality with men both social and economy factors.
  
  This is her say on gender and feminism as you said in point 3. Here is a prove to back up your point 3.
  
  PROVE 1(FROM HER BOOK)
  According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  “””””” Gender matters everywhere in the world. And I would like today to ask that we begin to dream about and plan for a different world. A fairer world. A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves. And this is how to start: We must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently. “””””
  
  PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)
  According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  “””” I am trying to unlearn many lessons of gender I internalized while growing up. But I sometimes still feel vulnerable in the face of gender expectations. “”””
  
  PROVE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)
  According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  ””””Gender is not an easy conversation to have. It makes people uncomfortable, sometimes even irritable. Both men and women are resistant to talk about gender, or are quick to dismiss the problems of gender. Because thinking of changing the status quo is always uncomfortable. ””””
  
  PROVE 4 FROM HER BOOK)
  According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  “”””” My own definition is a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better.”””””
  
  PROVE 5 (FROM HER BOOK)
  According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””
  FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
  “””””” Some people ask: “Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?” Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general—but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women. That the problem was not about being human, but specifically about being a female human. For centuries, the world divided human beings into two groups and then proceeded to exclude and oppress one group. It is only fair that the solution to the problem acknowledge that. Some men feel threatened by the idea of feminism. This comes, I think, from the insecurity triggered by how boys are brought up, how their sense of self-worth is diminished if they are not “naturally” in charge as men. “”””””
  
  PROVE 6 (FROM SITE/INTERNET-TALK)
  I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””FEMINISM“”””
  For further reading here is the link to convince you:
  https://pen.org/press-clip/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-on-the-world-of-african-literature/
  FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE speech:
  “” At the TED conference in 2013, Ms Adichie gave a now-famous talk titled, “We Should All Be Feminists.” (The singer Beyoncé quoted it in her song “Flawless.”) “My version of feminism means acknowledging that women have and continue to have gotten the bad end of things, politically and socially, all over the world,” she says. “Feminism means not only acknowledging that, but wanting to make it better.””
  
  PROVE 7 (FROM SITE/INTERNET-SPEECH)
  I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””FEMINISM AND FEMINIST “”””
  For further reading here is the link to the SPEECH to convince you.
  https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/
  IN HER SPEECH SHE SAYS-
  “””””” Recently a feminist organization kindly nominated me for an important prize in a country that will remain unnamed. I was very pleased. I’ve been fortunate to have received a few prizes so far and I quite like them especially when they come with shiny presents. To get this prize, I was required to talk about how important a particular European feminist woman writer had been to me. Now the truth was that I had never managed to finish this feminist writer’s book. It did not speak to me. It would have been a lie to claim that she had any major influence on my thinking. The truth is that I learned so much more about feminism from watching the women traders in the market in Nsukka where I grew up, than from reading any seminal feminist text. I could have said that this woman was important to me, and I could have talked the talk, and I could have been given the prize and a shiny present.
  But I didn’t.
  Because I had begun to ask myself what it really means to wear this FEMINIST label so publicly.
  Just as I asked myself after excerpts of my feminism speech were used in a song by a talented musician whom I think some of you might know. I thought it was a very good thing that the word ‘feminist’ would be introduced to a new generation.
  But I was startled by how many people, many of whom were academics, saw something troubling, even menacing, in this. It was as though feminism was supposed to be an elite little cult, with esoteric rites of membership.
  But it shouldn’t. Feminism should be an inclusive party. Feminism should be a party full of different feminisms.
  And so, class of 2015, please go out there and make Feminism a big raucous inclusive party. “”””””
  
  These your point 1,2 and 3 produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.
  
  You are welcome Mrs/Miss/Ms Tasha
  
  #PATRICKSTORIES
  Peace ✌and Love ❤
  
  Note-
  
  The initial “” Ms “” is used to address you because I do not know your status of been married or not or a feminist.
  According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””
  
  Here she says:
  “”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
  are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
  much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
  changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
  complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
  married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
  might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
  holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
  the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
  ‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
  I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
  whether married or not. “””””
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  
  Reply
Tisha says:

January 11, 2020 at 6:15 am

Thank you so much for taking out time to read it and also describe your views about everything you liked. Also thank you for the explanations you gave and the links you sent. I’d surely visit them in time convenient.
I completely agree with that incident described about the seminar in grade 3. Instead of teaching basic facts and information, vague ideas and threats are instilled in young minds.
Secondly, I really like the points you wrote here from her book bout Virginity and periods. I am a biology student myself and I have seen my so called “educated” colleagues arguing on the hymen being a sign of virginity. For God’s sake it’s not! Its just a biological protection to internal organs. And periods, your write-up was so damn on point. It’s true, that if they weren’t there, none of us would have been here.
And many a times people have relationships before marriage, while so do not and consider it a taboo. But how often are boys asked if they are virgins..? Its their personal or religious views. One shouldn’t enforce his views or judge someone based on that. Frankly speaking, if one has to think bout his or her future partner, it shouldn’t matter if he or she’s a virgin, all that matters is their commitment and loyalty at the present.
Boys and girls should be treated equally. We’re afraid of letting our girls out late at night but do we ever ask the sons where they were the whole night? Or do we stop them from attending parties? I guess no. So won’t it be better if we put a little monitoring on the sons too and a bit liberal for the daughters. Won’t that make it balanced?
Thank you so much for your valuable comments and for sharing your opinions. Was glad to have this conversation with you.
And btw, as far as your confusion, I’m a student now and ofc not married so its Ms. Tisha.
And I’m really impressed by your views on calling someone Ms. Indeed marriage is not the end point of a women’s life, neither is it any kind of achievement. I only believe its a pious relationship of love where its a new beginning for the couple (both men and women) in their own lives, but now together.
I really liked the ending how you preferred Ms.
Thanks for all these enriching views. It indeed made me smile. I’d like to share one small incident from my life.
I remember I had attended a seminar years ago when I was still a student, and during the introduction session, a guy asked me, “where do you see yourself in the next 10 years, Ms or Mrs.?”
“Neither of them.. It’d be Dr.” I replied with a smile. Surely he hadn’t expected this. So I guess Ms or Mrs doesnt matter for me.
Thanks again for all this discussion.
Was really glad to read your post. Looking forward to read many more like them.
Thank you. Have a nice day. 🙂

LikeLiked by 2 people

Reply
- PATRICK STORIES says:
  
  January 11, 2020 at 10:19 am
  
  Thanks for taking your precious time to reply me. Am very grateful for that.
  
  I so much enjoyed your response here.
  
  This is how I do my things, I make sure all my post and comments are back up especially when it concern specific topics – like feminism or gender issues.
  
  So that I can get the mind of viewers or readers and remove the idea of only imagination but making it more real and superior to their thinking or imagination of the post. The link on my post is a prove of my work
  
  This is to avoid any form of condemnation based on copyright infringement or plagiarism.
  
  This links serve as a backup or prove of my writeup/post of that particular topic.
  
  Am happy you went through my reply. Its shows some interest in my work. That is very good of you.
  
  I so much appreciate that, shows your are a reader.
  
  Thanks for giving me a chance to talk to you. Am please now I have someone who have my same idea and agree with me.
  
  Thanks for this last words –
  
  “””””” Thanks again for all this discussion. Was really glad to read your post. Looking forward to read many more like”””””
  
  It touched me and made smile.
  
  Thanks for that kind words.
  
  SHOWING INTEREST
  
  Don’t get offended by asking to connect with you. Love getting to know people who we share same ideology about writing and blogging.
  
  Am amazed by your comment and contribution on the post in my site.
  
  Wish to be a friend to you.
  
  Am Patrick by name.
  
  Love to connect to you.
  Here are my contact.
  
  Email- patrickreallstory@gmail.com
  
  like my Facebook Page (patrickstories)
  
  follow me on instagram@ patrickstories
  
  Chat me up on whatsapp@ +2349038156756
  
  Editor: PATRICK @patrickrealstories.wordpress.com
  
  You are welcome Ms Tisha
  
  #PATRICKSTORIES
  Peace ✌and Love ❤
  
  According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””
  
  Here she says:
  
  “”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
  are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
  much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
  changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
  complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
  married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
  might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
  holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
  the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
  ‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
  I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
  whether married or not. “””””
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  
  Reply
  - Tisha says:
    
    January 11, 2020 at 10:39 am
    
    And since you mentioned that we share similar ideologies about writing and blogging, I thought of asking you. Actually I am thinking of publishing a book, touching the various global and social issues nowadays. And I’m looking for Co authors as well as sponsors. Would like to know if you’d be interested in publishing a book?
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply
    - PATRICK STORIES says:
      
      January 11, 2020 at 3:09 pm
      
      How do I reach you now. Since you are not on social media. I will love to be part of that co-author. Am very much interested in publishing a book.
      
      Since we have similar ideologies.
      
      Thanks for letting me know.
      
      The problem is the communication. How do we reach each other and discuss. Because chating all through here on WordPress, the comment session is visible to all WordPress users.
      
      What about we discuss the book publishing using email to communicate.
      
      Here is my email so we can reach each other.
      
      Patrickrealstory@gmail.com.
      
      #PATRICKSTORIES
      Peace ✌and Love ❤
      
      LikeLiked by 2 people
      
      Reply
      - Tisha says:
        
        January 11, 2020 at 3:45 pm
        
        I am cool with it. Thank you. Would send you an email at time convenient.
        Glad to know you are interested. 🙂
        
        LikeLiked by 1 person
        
        Reply
        
        PATRICK STORIES says:
        
        January 11, 2020 at 4:40 pm
        
        Thanks for that. Hope you saved my email.
        
        Incase –
        
        Patrickrealstory@gmail.com
        
        #PATRICKSTORIES
        Peace ✌and Love ❤
        
        LikeLiked by 2 people
        
        Reply
        
        Tisha says:
        
        January 11, 2020 at 4:45 pm
        
        Oh yes, I did that. Thanks again.
        
        LikeLiked by 1 person
        
        Reply
        
        PATRICK STORIES says:
        
        January 11, 2020 at 4:48 pm
        
        You are welcome Ms Tisha
        
        #PATRICKSTORIES
        Peace ✌and Love ❤
        
        LikeLiked by 2 people
        
        Reply
        
        Tisha says:
        
        January 11, 2020 at 4:56 pm
        
        Sent the email. 🙂 Thank you.
        
        LikeLiked by 1 person
        
        Reply
        
        PATRICK STORIES says:
        
        January 12, 2020 at 6:28 am
        
        You are welcome
        
        #PATRICKSTORIES
        Peace ✌and Love ❤
        
        LikeLiked by 2 people
Tisha says:

January 11, 2020 at 10:31 am

Thank you so much. Its a pleasure to connect with fellow bloggers. Glad to meet you Mr Patrick. But I’m terribly sorry because I don’t have any social media account so it won’t be possible for Me to connect to you there. But WordPress is a good platform too. And thanks for the initiative.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
- PATRICK STORIES says:
  
  January 11, 2020 at 3:03 pm
  
  I understand. Am cool with it.
  
  You are welcome
  
  #PATRICKSTORIES
  Peace ✌and Love ❤
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  
  Reply
A.S. says:

January 13, 2020 at 10:56 am

Wow! The amount of research and hard work you put into compiling this is commendable. I’ve been a fan of CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE from the moment I saw her speech “The danger of a single story”. It was the first introduction of her to me, a few years back. She has been an inspiration, role model to me, especially as a girl. I completely agree with her thoughts and also learn quite a lot from her.
Thanks a lot for sharing this, I like it a lot.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
- PATRICK STORIES says:
  
  January 14, 2020 at 8:18 pm
  
  You are welcome
  
  #PATRICKSTORIES
  Peace ✌and Love ❤
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  
  Reply
- PATRICK STORIES says:
  
  January 14, 2020 at 8:22 pm
  
  Thanks for sharing your own view and contributions on this articles? I really appreciate that very much. Am happy for that.
  
  You are welcome Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms Kstites
  
  #PATRICKSTORIES
  Peace ✌and Love ❤
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  
  Reply
  - A.S. says:
    
    January 15, 2020 at 11:40 am
    
    You’re most welcome 🙂
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply
Free Stuff says:

February 8, 2020 at 12:50 pm

Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
PATRICK STORIES says:

February 13, 2020 at 2:19 am

You are welcome

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

LikeLiked by 1 person

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Marlin Ferrie says:

February 22, 2020 at 3:29 pm

I was very happy to find this internet-site.I needed to thanks in your time for this glorious learn!! I positively having fun with every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

LikeLiked by 1 person

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PATRICK STORIES says:

February 23, 2020 at 9:41 am

Thanks for that.

You are welcome

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

LikeLiked by 1 person

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