7 OPINIONS WHY YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD BE A FEMINIST 

7 OPINIONS WHY YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD BE A FEMINIST 

Feminism isn’t about women being better than men, it’s about being equals yet different. Feminism is about gender equality which begins at home, and families are at the front lines of change. For the next generation, the examples set at home by parents, care-givers and extended family are shaping the way they think about gender and equality.

From breaking down gender stereotypes to sharing the care work, and educating children about women’s rights and gender equality you are making a prospect young boy or girl that will be a future feminist.

Here are my 7 opinions that can inspire the future feminists in your/our family:

  1. choice of a girl and a boy to choose his or her own beauty and appearances -dress code, clothing and clothing colours
  2. young boys and girls should have idea about feminist take on sex education
  3. young boys and girls should have the idea about love and likeness
  4. young boys and girls should know that feminism is about owning your life in term of culture, tradition, skin colour, religion, social status or nationality
  5. young boys and girls should be feminist so that they can have the idea of equal share of the care work / house chores in the house
  6. young boys and girls should be feminist so that they have the privilege to widen and diversify their knowledge about role models
  7. young boys and girls should stop the idea of body shaming

OPINION 1

CHOICE OF A GIRL AND A BOY TO CHOOSE HIS OR HER OWN BEAUTY AND APPEARANCES -DRESS CODE, CLOTHING AND CLOTHING COLOURS

Here Feminism is about young boys and girls dressing the way they want if that means fully covered or naked. Women should be allowed to wear what they want as fashion. Because fashion  is art and self-expression of its beauty.

Feminism is totally based on individual Choice in the type of clothes, fashions and the choice of colours. The dress code and colours should not be conditioned to a particular gender like pink and skirt for girls, blue and trousers for boys etc.

Here are some references from Nigeria renowned FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi  to support my first opinion from her books and interviews

REFERENCES 1

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

“”””” It is interesting to me how early the world starts to invent gender roles. Yesterday I went to a children’s shop to buy Chizalum an outfit. In the girls’ section were pale creations in washed out shades of pink. I disliked them. The boys’ section had outfits in vibrant shades of blue. Because I thought blue would be adorable against her brown skin – and photograph better – I bought one. At the checkout counter, the cashier said mine was the perfect present for the new boy. I said it was for a baby girl. She looked horrified. ‘Blue for a girl?’   I cannot help but wonder about the clever marketing person who invented this pink-blue binary. There was also a ‘gender-neutral’ section, with its array of bloodless greys. ‘Gender neutral’ is silly because it is premised on the idea of male being blue and female being pink and ‘gender-neutral’ being its own category. Why not just have baby clothes organized by age and displayed in all colours? The bodies of male and female infants are similar, after all.  “”””””

REFERENCES  2

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

”””””” I looked at the toy section, which was also arranged by gender. Toys for boys are mostly active, and involve some sort of doing – trains, cars – and toys for girls are mostly passive and are overwhelmingly dolls. I was struck by this. I had not quite realized how early society starts to invent ideas of what a boy should be and what a girl should be. I wished the toys had been arranged by type, rather than by gender. Did I ever tell you about going to a US mall with a seven-year-old Nigerian girl and her mother? She saw a toy helicopter, one of those things that fly by wireless remote control, and she was fascinated and asked for one. ‘No,’ her mother said. ‘You have your dolls.’ And she responded, ‘Mummy, is it only dolls I will play with?’ I have never forgotten that. Her mother meant well, obviously. She was well versed in the ideas of gender roles – that girls play with dolls and boys with helicopters. I wonder now, wistfully, if the little girl would have turned out to be a revolutionary engineer, had she been given a chance to explore that helicopter. “”””””

REFERENCES 3

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

“””””” If we don’t place the straitjacket of gender roles on young children, we give them space to reach their full potential. Please see Chizalum as an individual. Not as a girl who should be a certain way. See her weaknesses and her strengths in an individual way. Do not measure her on a scale of what a girl should be. Measure her on a scale of being the best version of herself. A young Nigerian woman once told me that she had for years behaved ‘like a boy’ – she liked football and was bored by dresses – until her mother forced her to stop her ‘boyish’ interests. Now she is grateful to her mother for helping her start behaving like a girl. The story made me sad. I wondered what parts of herself she had needed to silence and stifle, and I wondered about what her spirit had lost, because what she called ‘behaving like a boy’ was simply behaving like herself. “”””””

REFERENCES 4

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“”””””” Be deliberate about how you engage with her and her appearance. Encourage her participation in sports. Teach her to be physically active. Take walks with her. Swim. Run. Play tennis. Football. Table tennis. All kinds of sports. Any kind of sports. I think this is important not only because of the obvious health benefits but because it can help with all the body-image insecurities that the world thrusts on girls. Let Chizalum know that there is great value in being active. Studies show that girls generally stop playing sports as puberty arrives. Not surprising. Breasts and self-consciousness can get in the way of sports – I stopped playing football when my breasts first appeared because all I wanted to do was hide the existence of my breasts, and running and tackling didn’t help. Please try not to let that get in her way. “””””””

REFERENCES 5

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“”””””” If she likes make-up, let her wear it. If she likes fashion, let her dress up. But if she doesn’t like either, let her be. Don’t think that raising her feminist means forcing her to reject femininity. Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are. Sadly, women have learned to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and make-up. But our society does not expect men to feel ashamed of pursuits considered generally male – sports cars, certain professional sports.

 In the same way, men’s grooming is never suspect in the way women’s grooming is a well-dressed man does not worry that, because he is dressed well, certain assumptions might be made about his intelligence, his ability, or his seriousness. A woman, on the other hand, is always aware of how a bright lipstick or a carefully put-together outfit might very well make others assume her to be frivolous. “””””””

 

REFERENCES 6

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“””””””Never ever link Chizalum’s appearance with morality. Never tell her that a short skirt is ‘immoral’. Make dressing a question of taste and attractiveness instead of a question of morality. If you both clash over what she wants to wear, never say things like ‘You look like a prostitute’, as I know your mother once told you. Instead say: ‘That dress doesn’t flatter you like this other one.’ Or doesn’t fit as well. Or doesn’t look as attractive. Or is simply ugly. But never ‘immoral’. Because clothes have absolutely nothing to do with morality.”””””””

 

 REFERENCES 7

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“””””” Try not to link hair with pain. I think of my childhood and how often I cried while my dense long hair was being plaited. I think of how a packet of Smarties was kept in front of me as a reward if I sat through having my hair done. And for what? Imagine if we had not spent so many Saturdays of our childhood and teenage hood doing our hair. What might we have learned? In what ways might we have grown? What did boys do on Saturdays?

 So with her hair, I suggest that you redefine ‘neat’. Part of the reason that hair is about pain for so many girls is that adults are determined to conform to a version of ‘neat’ that means Too Tight and Scalp-Destroying and Headache-Infusing. We need to stop. I’ve seen girls in school in Nigeria being terribly harassed for their hair not being ‘neat’, merely because some of their God-given hair had curled up in glorious tight little balls at their temples. Make Chizalum’s hair loose – big plaits and big cornrows, and don’t use a tiny-toothed comb that wasn’t made with our hair texture in mind.

And make that your definition of neat. Go to her school and talk to the administration if you have to. It takes one person to make change happen. Chizalum will notice very early on – because children are perceptive – what kind of beauty the mainstream world values. She will see it in magazines and films and television. She will see that whiteness is valued. She will notice that the hair texture that is valued is straight or swingy, and hair that is valued falls down rather than stands up. She will encounter these values whether you like it or not. So make sure that you create alternatives for her to see. Let her know that slim white women are beautiful, and that non-slim, non-white women are beautiful. Let her know that there are many individuals and many cultures that do not find the narrow mainstream definition of beauty attractive. You will know your child best, and so you will know best how to affirm her own kind of beauty, how to protect her from looking at her own reflection with dissatisfaction. “””””””

 

REFERENCES 8

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”””””  Tell her that her body belongs to her and her alone, that she should never feel the need to say yes to something she does not want, or something she feels pressured to do. Teach her that saying no when no feels right is something to be proud of. “”””””

 

REFERENCES 9

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“””””” Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another. If the justification for controlling women’s bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was ‘women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do’.

Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be ‘covered up’ to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men.   “””””””

 

 REFERENCES 10

 According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””The sad truth of the matter is that when it comes to appearance, we start off with men as the standard, as the norm. Many of us think that the less feminine a woman appears, the more likely she is to be taken seriously. A man going to a business meeting doesn’t wonder about being taken seriously based on what he is wearing—but a woman does. ”””

 

REFERENCES 11

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” We teach girls shame. Close your legs. Cover yourself. We make them feel as though by being born female, they are already guilty of something. And so girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. Who silence themselves. Who cannot say what they truly think. Who have turned pretence into an art form. “””””

 

REFERENCES 12

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity. And I want to be respected in all my femaleness. Because I deserve to be. I like politics and history and am happiest when having a good argument about ideas. I am girly. I am happily girly.

 I like high heels and trying on lipsticks. It’s nice to be complimented by both men and women (although I have to be honest and say that I prefer the compliments of stylish women), but I often wear clothes that men don’t like or don’t “understand.” I wear them because I like them and because I feel good in them. The “male gaze,” as a shaper of my life’s choices, is largely incidental. “””””

REFERENCES 13

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””  We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way boys are. If we have sons, we don’t mind knowing about their girlfriends. But our daughters’ boyfriends? God forbid. (But we of course expect them to bring home the perfect man for marriage when the time is right. “””””

REFERENCES 14

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

“”””” If she likes make-up, let her wear it. If she likes fashion, let her dress up. But if she doesn’t like either, let her be. Don’t think that raising her feminist means forcing her to reject femininity. Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are. “”””

REFERENCES 15 (SITE/INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture and appearance “””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/karenhua/2016/10/21/the-cultural-importance-of-chimamanda-ngozi-adichies-boots-beauty-campaign/amp/

 

FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE says-

  1.  “””Our culture teaches us that to be taken seriously, women should not care too much about their appearance. So I stopped wearing makeup and became a false version of myself,”  “But then I woke up because makeup doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s about how I feel when I get it right—what makes me walk ever so taller. It’s about the face I choose to show the world and what I choose to say.”””
  2. In her Feminists TED Talk, she recalls preparing to teach a graduate class and thinking, “I was worried that if I looked too feminine, I would not be taken seriously. I really wanted to wear my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt, but I decided not to. I wore a very serious, very manly, and very ugly suit… I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity. And I want to be respected in all my femaleness because I deserve to be.”
  3. Adichie told FORBES, “”“I love makeup and its possibilities for temporary transformation, but I also love my face after I wash it all off. (Makeup is) about what I like—what makes me feel slightly better on a dull day—what makes me comfortable.”””

 

REFERENCES 16 (SITE/INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture and appearance “””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE says-

“”””” I’m truly, truly happy to be here today, so happy, in fact, that when I found out your class colour was yellow, I decided I would wear yellow eye shadow. But on second thoughts, I realized that as much as I admire Wellesley, even yellow eye-shadow was a bit too much of a gesture. So I dug out this yellow—yellowish—head wrap instead.

“It’s Heart breaking for us.” Syrian Students’ Struggle to Study in the U.S.

Speaking of eye shadow, I wasn’t very interested in makeup until I was in my twenties, which is when I began to wear makeup. Because of a man. A loud, unpleasant man. He was one of the guests at a friend’s dinner party. I was also a guest. I was about 23, but people often told me I looked 12. The conversation at dinner was about traditional Igbo culture, about the custom that allows only men to break the kola nut, and the kola nut is a deeply symbolic part of Igbo cosmology.

I argued that it would be better if that honour were based on achievement rather than gender, and he looked at me and said, dismissively, “You don’t know what you are talking about, you’re a small girl.”

I wanted him to disagree with the substance of my argument, but by looking at me, young and female, it was easy for him to dismiss what I said. So I decided to try to look older.

So I thought lipstick might help. And eyeliner. And I am grateful to that man because I have since come to love makeup, and its wonderful possibilities for temporary transformation.

So, I have not told you this anecdote as a way to illustrate my discovery of gender injustice. If anything, it’s really just an ode to makeup.

It’s really just to say that this, your graduation, is a good time to buy some lipsticks—if makeup is your sort of thing—because a good shade of lipstick can always put you in a slightly better mood on dark days. “””””

 

 

OPINION 2

YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD HAVE IDEA ABOUT FEMINIST TAKE ON SEX EDUCATION

Feminism is about sex education. Feminism is about educating girls, boys, women and men about sex, periods/ menstruation, pregnancy and. It’s about educating them about shame and sexuality.  Feminism is about telling girls that they are not here for boys’ entertainment and vice-versa.

Again young girls shouldn’t be penalised because of the signalization’s of their bodies and lack of self-control on the boys’ side. After all sex is about the pleasure of two individuals!

Here are some references from Nigeria renowned FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi  to support my second opinion from her books and interviews

REFERENCES 1

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth suggestion

“””””And speaking of shame – never, ever link sexuality and shame. Or nakedness and shame. Do not ever make ‘virginity’ a focus. Every conversation about virginity becomes a conversation about shame. Teach her to reject the linking of shame and female biology. Why were we raised to speak in low tones about periods? To be filled with shame if our menstrual blood happened to stain our skirt? Periods are nothing to be ashamed of. Periods are normal and natural, and the human species would not be here if periods did not exist. I remember a man who said a period was like shit. Well, sacred shit, I told him, because you wouldn’t be here if periods didn’t happen. “””””

 

REFERENCES 2

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Twelfth Suggestion

“”””” Talk to her about sex, and start early. Remember that seminar we went to in class 3 where we were supposed to be taught about ‘sexuality’ but instead we listened to vague semi threats about how ‘talking to boys’ would end up with us being pregnant and disgraced? I remember that hall and that seminar as a place filled with shame. Ugly shame. The particular brand of shame that has to do with being female. With her, don’t pretend that sex is merely a controlled act of reproduction. Or an ‘only in marriage’ act, because that is disingenuous. “””””

REFERENCES 3

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”””” With her, don’t pretend that sex is merely a controlled act of reproduction. Or an ‘only in marriage’ act, because that is disingenuous. (You and Chudi were having sex long before marriage and she will probably know this by the time she is twelve.) Tell her that sex can be a beautiful thing and that, apart from the obvious physical consequences (for her as the woman!), it can also have emotional consequences. Tell her that her body belongs to her and her alone, that she should never feel the need to say yes to something she does not want, or something she feels pressured to do. Teach her that saying no when no feels right is something to be proud of.   “””””

REFERENCES 4

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” Make sure you are aware of the romance in her life. And the only way you can do that is to start very early to give her the language with which to talk to you not only about sex but also about love. I don’t mean you should be her ‘friend’; I mean you should be her mother to whom she can talk about everything. “”””

 

REFERENCE 5

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“”””” Romance will happen, so be on board. I’m writing this assuming she is heterosexual – she might not be, obviously. But I am assuming that because it is what I feel best equipped to talk about. “””””

REFERENCE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””  We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way boys are. If we have sons, we don’t mind knowing about their girlfriends. But our daughters’ boyfriends? God forbid. (But we of course expect them to bring home the perfect man for marriage when the time is right. “””””

REFERENCE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”””” In every culture in the world, female sexuality is about shame. Even cultures that expect women to be sexy – like many in the West – still do not expect them to be sexual. The shame we attach to female sexuality is about control. Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another. If the justification for controlling women’s bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was ‘women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do’.

Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be ‘covered up’ to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men. “””””

 

REFERENCE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

  1. Tell her you think it’s best to wait until she is an adult before she has sex. But be prepared because she might not wait until she’s eighteen. And if she doesn’t wait, you have to make sure she is able to tell you that she hasn’t. It’s not enough to say you want to raise a daughter who can tell you anything; you have to give her the language to talk to you. And I mean this in a literal way.
  1. What should she call it? What word should she use? I remember people used ‘ike’ when I was a child to mean both ‘anus’ and ‘vagina’; ‘anus’ was the easier meaning but it left everything vague and I never quite knew how to say, for example, that I had an itch in my vagina. Most childhood development experts say it is best to have children call sexual organs by their proper biological names – vagina and penis. I agree, but that is a decision you have to make. You should decide what name you want her to call it, but what matters is that there must be a name and that it cannot be a name that is weighed down with shame.

 

 

OPINION 3

YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD HAVE THE IDEA ABOUT LOVE AND LIKENESS

Here Feminism is about taking care of each other and building each other up! Feminism is about having the right to love or like whose ever you want. It should be a reciprocal thing. Each partner should gain from it.

Here are some references from Nigeria renowned FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi  to support my third opinion from her books and interviews

REFERENCE 1 (FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I did a research on the internet about her talk and post about likeability. I was able to bring out major sites where she said something about likeability. For more information on it. Here are the links to some of the site

  1. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vogue.co.uk/article/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-likeability-women-strive-to-be-liked%3famp
  2. https://qz.com/414456/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-says-likability-is-bullshit-and-shes-100-right/

Here is what she said about likeability-

“”””I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likeability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likeable, that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too pushy, because you have to be likeable,”

“And I say that is bullshit. So what I want to say to young girls is forget about likeability. If you start thinking about being likeable you are not going to tell your story honestly, because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that’s going to ruin your story, so forget about likeability. And also the world is such a wonderful, diverse, and multi-faceted place that there’s somebody who’s going to like you; you don’t need to twist yourself into shapes.””””

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

“”””” Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people. “””””

 

REFERENCE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

  1. So instead of teaching Chizalum to be likeable, teach her to be honest. And kind. And brave. Encourage her to speak her mind, to say what she really thinks, to speak truthfully. And then praise her when she does. Praise her especially when she takes a stand that is difficult or unpopular because it happens to be her honest position.
  2. Show her that she does not need to be liked by everyone. Tell her that if someone does not like her, there will be someone else who will. Teach her that she is not merely an object to be liked or disliked, she is also a subject who can like or dislike. 

 

REFERENCE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” What struck me—with her and with many other female American friends I have—is how invested they are in being “liked.” How they have been raised to believe that their being likable is very important and that this “likable” trait is a specific thing. And that specific thing does not include showing anger or being aggressive or disagreeing too loudly.

We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.  “””””

 

REFERENCE 5(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

  1. We teach girls to be likeable, to be nice, to be false. And we do not teach boys the same. This is dangerous. Many sexual predators have capitalized on this. Many girls remain silent when abused because they want to be nice.  
  2. Many girls spend too much time trying to be ‘nice’ to people who do them harm. Many girls think of the ‘feelings’ of those who are hurting them. This is the catastrophic consequence of likeability.

REFERENCE 6(FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “” LIKABILITY IS BULLSHIT “”

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://qz.com/414456/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-says-likability-is-bullshit-and-shes-100-right/

In her Arthur Miller Freedom to Write lecture last month, Adichie addressed the “codes of silence” that govern American life. She said that Americans like to be “comfortable” and that she worried this has brought “dangerous silencing” into American public conversation.

“The fear of causing offence, the fear of ruffling the careful layers of comfort, becomes a fetish,” Adichie said. As such, The Guardian reports, Adiche said the goal of many public conversations in the United States “is not truth,” but “comfort.”

“To choose to write is to reject silence,” she added. And indeed, silence won’t get you anywhere. At the same time, when you choose to speak out, to say something that goes against popular discourse, that make people uncomfortable, or that isn’t “nice,” you will be punished for it. You will be told to shut up and to step back in line. And if people actually listen to you, well, the push back will become ever more intense. You are really dangerous, then.

 

REFERENCE 7 (FROM INTERNET/SITE)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “” RAISING A GIRL TO BE LIKEABLE “”

For further reading here is the link to convince you:

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

“””””  All over the world, girls are raised to be make themselves likeable, to twist themselves into shapes that suit other people.

Please do not twist yourself into shapes to please. Don’t do it. If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then they actually just like that twisted shape, and not you. And the world is such a gloriously multifaceted, diverse place that there are people in the world who will like you, the real you, as you are. “””””

REFERENCE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” Make sure you are aware of the romance in her life. And the only way you can do that is to start very early to give her the language with which to talk to you not only about sex but also about love. I don’t mean you should be her ‘friend’; I mean you should be her mother to whom she can talk about everything. “”””

 

REFERENCE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” Teach her that to love is not only to give but also to take. This is important because we give girls subtle cues about their lives – we teach girls that a large component of their ability to love is their ability to sacrifice their selves. We do not teach this to boys. Teach her that to love she must give of herself emotionally but she must also expect to be given to. “”””

 

 REFERENCE 10 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

 “””” I think love is the most important thing in life. Whatever kind, however you define it, but I think of it generally as being greatly valued by another human being and greatly valuing another human being. But why do we raise only one half of the world to value this? “”””

 

REFERENCE 11 (FROM SITE/INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “” the most important thing in the world: love  “”

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

SHE SAYS

“”””””  And, finally I would like to end with a final note on the most important thing in the world: love. Now girls are often raised to see love only as giving. Women are praised for their love when that love is an act of giving. But to love is to give AND to take. Please love by giving and by taking. Give and be given. If you are only giving and not taking, you’ll know. You’ll know from that small and true voice inside you that we females are so often socialized to silence. Don’t silence that voice. Dare to take.

 Congratulations. “””””

REFERENCE 12 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” I have another friend, also an American woman, who has a high-paying job in advertising. She is one of two women in her team. Once, at a meeting, she said she had felt slighted by her boss, who had ignored her comments and then praised something similar when it came from a man. She wanted to speak up, to challenge her boss. But she didn’t. Instead, after the meeting, she went to the bathroom and cried, then called me to vent about it. She didn’t want to speak up because she didn’t want to seem aggressive. She let her resentments simmer. What struck me—with her and with many other female American friends I have—is how invested they are in being “liked.”

How they have been raised to believe that their being likable is very important and that this “likable” trait is a specific thing. And that specific thing does not include showing anger or being aggressive or disagreeing too loudly. We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.   “””””

OPINION 4

YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD KNOW THAT FEMINISM IS ABOUT OWNING YOUR LIFE IN TERM OF CULTURE, TRADITION, SKIN COLOUR, RELIGION, SOCIAL STATUS OR NATIONALITY

In the society today boys and girls have been trained that they should preserve culture and tradition. They should also maintain their skin colour no matter where they go. They should also maintain the norms been proclaim by religion and also should be aware of their social status or nationality in the society.

At a tender age this characteristics is been integrated in them and are past down to their children, it goes continuously from generation to generation. From analysis about feminism, feminism feel that culture and tradition are things that can be change to favour both party.

Over the year culture and traditions have been place more favourable to only male counterpart in the society (patriarchy). So feminism came to make all gender to be equal. This lead to a declaration of “GENDER EQUALITY” in the society.

Here are some references from Nigeria renowned FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi  to support my fourth opinion from her books, ted talk and interviews

 

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

  1. Some people will say a woman is subordinate to men because it’s our culture. But culture is constantly changing. I have beautiful twin nieces who are fiffteen. If they had been born a hundred years ago, they would have been taken away and killed. Because a hundred years ago, Igbo culture considered the birth of twins to be an evil omen. Today that practice is unimaginable to all Igbo people. What is the point of culture?

 

  1. Culture functions ultimately to ensure the preservation and continuity of a people. In my family, I am the child who is most interested in the story of who we are, in ancestral lands, in our tradition. My brothers are not as interested as I am.

 

  1. But I cannot participate, because Igbo culture privileges men and only the male members of the extended family can attend the meetings where major family decisions are taken. So although I am the one who is most interested in these things, I cannot attend the meeting. I cannot have a formal say. Because I am female.

 

  1. Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture.

 

REFERENCE 2 (FROM SITE/ INTERNET)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture integrated with appearance (make up) “””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/karenhua/2016/10/21/the-cultural-importance-of-chimamanda-ngozi-adichies-boots-beauty-campaign/amp/

Here is her speech:

“””””  Our culture teaches us that to be taken seriously, women should not care too much about their appearance. So I stopped wearing makeup and became a false version of myself,” Adichie said. “But then I woke up because makeup doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s about how I feel when I get it right—what makes me walk ever so taller. It’s about the face I choose to show the world and what I choose to say.   “”””

 

REFERENCE 3 (FROM SITE/ INTERNET-TALK)

I will backed it up with a powerful ted talk made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned/talk on “””” culture integrated with single story“”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story/transcript?language=en

Here is her speech:

THE DANGERS OF SINGLE STORY

00:12

I’m a storyteller. And I would like to tell you a few personal stories about what I like to call “the danger of the single story.” I grew up on a university campus in eastern Nigeria. My mother says that I started reading at the age of two, although I think four is probably close to the truth. So I was an early reader, and what I read were British and American children’s books.

 

00:39

I was also an early writer, and when I began to write, at about the age of seven, stories in pencil with crayon illustrations that my poor mother was obligated to read, I wrote exactly the kinds of stories I was reading: All my characters were white and blue-eyed, they played in the snow, they ate apples,

 

01:04

(Laughter)

01:06

And they talked a lot about the weather, how lovely it was that the sun had come out.

 

 

01:10

(Laughter)

 

01:12

Now, this despite the fact that I lived in Nigeria. I had never been outside Nigeria. We didn’t have snow, we ate mangoes, and we never talked about the weather, because there was no need to.

 

01:26

My characters also drank a lot of ginger beer, because the characters in the British books I read drank ginger beer. Never mind that I had no idea what ginger beer was.

 

01:36

(Laughter)

 

01:37

And for many years afterwards, I would have a desperate desire to taste ginger beer. But that is another story.

 

01:44

What this demonstrates, I think, is how impressionable and vulnerable we are in the face of a story, particularly as children. Because all I had read were books in which characters were foreign, I had become convinced that books by their very nature had to have foreigners in them and had to be about things with which I could not personally identify. Now, things changed when I discovered African books. There weren’t many of them available, and they weren’t quite as easy to find as the foreign books.

 

02:15

But because of writers like Chinua Achebe and Camara Laye, I went through a mental shift in my perception of literature. I realized that people like me, girls with skin the color of chocolate, whose kinky hair could not form ponytails, could also exist in literature. I started to write about things I recognized.

 

02:36

Now, I loved those American and British books I read. They stirred my imagination. They opened up new worlds for me. But the unintended consequence was that I did not know that people like me could exist in literature. So what the discovery of African writers did for me was this: It saved me from having a single story of what books are.

 

02:59

I come from a conventional, middle-class Nigerian family. My father was a professor. My mother was an administrator. And so we had, as was the norm, live-in domestic help, who would often come from nearby rural villages. So, the year I turned eight, we got a new house boy. His name was Fide. The only thing my mother told us about him was that his family was very poor. My mother sent yams and rice, and our old clothes, to his family. And when I didn’t finish my dinner, my mother would say, “Finish your food! Don’t you know? People like Fide’s family have nothing.” So I felt enormous pity for Fide’s family.

 

03:43

Then one Saturday, we went to his village to visit, and his mother showed us a beautifully patterned basket made of dyed raffia that his brother had made. I was startled. It had not occurred to me that anybody in his family could actually make something. All I had heard about them was how poor they were, so that it had become impossible for me to see them as anything else but poor. Their poverty was my single story of them.

 

04:13

Years later, I thought about this when I left Nigeria to go to university in the United States. I was 19. My American roommate was shocked by me. She asked where I had learned to speak English so well, and was confused when I said that Nigeria happened to have English as its official language. She asked if she could listen to what she called my “tribal music,” and was consequently very disappointed when I produced my tape of Mariah Carey.

 

 

04:42

(Laughter)

 

04:45

She assumed that I did not know how to use a stove.

 

04:49

What struck me was this: She had felt sorry for me even before she saw me. Her default position toward me, as an African, was a kind of patronizing, well-meaning pity. My roommate had a single story of Africa: a single story of catastrophe. In this single story, there was no possibility of Africans being similar to her in any way, no possibility of feelings more complex than pity, no possibility of a connection as human equals.

 

05:21

I must say that before I went to the U.S., I didn’t consciously identify as African. But in the U.S., whenever Africa came up, people turned to me. Never mind that I knew nothing about places like Namibia. But I did come to embrace this new identity, and in many ways I think of myself now as African. Although I still get quite irritable when Africa is referred to as a country, the most recent example being my otherwise wonderful flight from Lagos two days ago, in which there was an announcement on the Virgin flight about the charity work in “India, Africa and other countries.”

 

05:55

(Laughter)

 

05:56

So, after I had spent some years in the U.S. as an African, I began to understand my roommate’s response to me. If I had not grown up in Nigeria, and if all I knew about Africa were from popular images, I too would think that Africa was a place of beautiful landscapes, beautiful animals, and incomprehensible people, fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to speak for themselves and waiting to be saved by a kind, white foreigner. I would see Africans in the same way that I, as a child, had seen Fide’s family.

 

06:35

This single story of Africa ultimately comes, I think, from Western literature. Now, here is a quote from the writing of a London merchant called John Lok, who sailed to west Africa in 1561 and kept a fascinating account of his voyage. After referring to the black Africans as “beasts who have no houses,” he writes, “They are also people without heads, having their mouth and eyes in their breasts.”

 

07:05

Now, I’ve laughed every time I’ve read this. And one must admire the imagination of John Lok. But what is important about his writing is that it represents the beginning of a tradition of telling African stories in the West: A tradition of Sub-Saharan Africa as a place of negatives, of difference, of darkness, of people who, in the words of the wonderful poet Rudyard Kipling, are “half devil, half child.”

 

07:32

And so, I began to realize that my American roommate must have throughout her life seen and heard different versions of this single story, as had a professor, who once told me that my novel was not “authentically African.” Now, I was quite willing to contend that there were a number of things wrong with the novel, that it had failed in a number of places, but I had not quite imagined that it had failed at achieving something called African authenticity. In fact, I did not know what African authenticity was. The professor told me that my characters were too much like him, an educated and middle-class man. My characters drove cars. They were not starving. Therefore they were not authentically African.

 

08:21

But I must quickly add that I too am just as guilty in the question of the single story. A few years ago, I visited Mexico from the U.S. The political climate in the U.S. at the time was tense, and there were debates going on about immigration. And, as often happens in America, immigration became synonymous with Mexicans. There were endless stories of Mexicans as people who were fleecing the healthcare system, sneaking across the border, being arrested at the border, that sort of thing.

 

08:54

I remember walking around on my first day in Guadalajara, watching the people going to work, rolling up tortillas in the marketplace, smoking, laughing. I remember first feeling slight surprise. And then, I was overwhelmed with shame. I realized that I had been so immersed in the media coverage of Mexicans that they had become one thing in my mind, the abject immigrant. I had bought into the single story of Mexicans and I could not have been more ashamed of myself.

 

09:26

So that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.

 

09:37

It is impossible to talk about the single story without talking about power. There is a word, an Igbo word, that I think about whenever I think about the power structures of the world, and it is “nkali.” It’s a noun that loosely translates to “to be greater than another.” Like our economic and political worlds, stories too are defined by the principle of nkali: How they are told, who tells them, when they’re told, how many stories are told, are really dependent on power.

 

10:12

Power is the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person. The Palestinian poet Mourid Barghouti writes that if you want to dispossess a people, the simplest way to do it is to tell their story and to start with, “secondly.” Start the story with the arrows of the Native Americans, and not with the arrival of the British, and you have an entirely different story. Start the story with the failure of the African state, and not with the colonial creation of the African state, and you have an entirely different story.

 

10:52

I recently spoke at a university where a student told me that it was such a shame that Nigerian men were physical abusers like the father character in my novel. I told him that I had just read a novel called “American Psycho” —

 

11:08

(Laughter)

 

11:10

— And that it was such a shame that young Americans were serial murderers.

 

11:15

(Laughter)

 

11:19

(Applause)

 

11:25

Now, obviously I said this in a fit of mild irritation.

 

11:28

(Laughter)

 

11:30

But it would never have occurred to me to think that just because I had read a novel in which a character was a serial killer that he was somehow representative of all Americans. This is not because I am a better person than that student, but because of America’s cultural and economic power, I had many stories of America. I had read Tyler and Updike and Steinbeck and Gaitskill. I did not have a single story of America.

 

11:55

When I learned, some years ago, that writers were expected to have had really unhappy childhoods to be successful, I began to think about how I could invent horrible things my parents had done to me.

 

 

12:08

(Laughter)

 

12:10

But the truth is that I had a very happy childhood, full of laughter and love, in a very close-knit family.

 

12:17

But I also had grandfathers who died in refugee camps. My cousin Polle died because he could not get adequate healthcare. One of my closest friends, Okoloma, died in a plane crash because our fire trucks did not have water. I grew up under repressive military governments that devalued education, so that sometimes, my parents were not paid their salaries. And so, as a child, I saw jam disappear from the breakfast table, then margarine disappeared, then bread became too expensive, then milk became rationed. And most of all, a kind of normalized political fear invaded our lives.

 

12:57

All of these stories make me who I am. But to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and to overlook the many other stories that formed me. The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.

 

13:25

Of course, Africa is a continent full of catastrophes: There are immense ones, such as the horrific rapes in Congo and depressing ones, such as the fact that 5,000 people apply for one job vacancy in Nigeria. But there are other stories that are not about catastrophe, and it is very important, it is just as important, to talk about them.

 

13:45

I’ve always felt that it is impossible to engage properly with a place or a person without engaging with all of the stories of that place and that person. The consequence of the single story is this: It robs people of dignity. It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are similar.

 

14:09

So what if before my Mexican trip, I had followed the immigration debate from both sides, the U.S. and the Mexican? What if my mother had told us that Fide’s family was poor and hardworking? What if we had an African television network that broadcast diverse African stories all over the world? What the Nigerian writer Chinua Achebe calls “a balance of stories.”

 

14:33

What if my roommate knew about my Nigerian publisher, Muhtar Bakare, a remarkable man who left his job in a bank to follow his dream and start a publishing house? Now, the conventional wisdom was that Nigerians don’t read literature. He disagreed. He felt that people who could read, would read, if you made literature affordable and available to them.

 

14:56

Shortly after he published my first novel, I went to a TV station in Lagos to do an interview, and a woman who worked there as a messenger came up to me and said, “I really liked your novel. I didn’t like the ending. Now, you must write a sequel, and this is what will happen …”

 

15:11

(Laughter)

 

15:14

And she went on to tell me what to write in the sequel. I was not only charmed, I was very moved. Here was a woman, part of the ordinary masses of Nigerians, who were not supposed to be readers. She had not only read the book, but she had taken ownership of it and felt justified in telling me what to write in the sequel.

 

15:33

Now, what if my roommate knew about my friend Funmi Iyanda, a fearless woman who hosts a TV show in Lagos, and is determined to tell the stories that we prefer to forget? What if my roommate knew about the heart procedure that was performed in the Lagos hospital last week? What if my roommate knew about contemporary Nigerian music, talented people singing in English and Pidgin, and Igbo and Yoruba and Ijo, mixing influences from Jay-Z to Fela to Bob Marley to their grandfathers.

 

16:06

What if my roommate knew about the female lawyer who recently went to court in Nigeria to challenge a ridiculous law that required women to get their husband’s consent before renewing their passports? What if my roommate knew about Nollywood, full of innovative people making films despite great technical odds, films so popular that they really are the best example of Nigerians consuming what they produce? What if my roommate knew about my wonderfully ambitious hair braider, who has just started her own business selling hair extensions? Or about the millions of other Nigerians who start businesses and sometimes fail, but continue to nurse ambition?

 

16:47

Every time I am home I am confronted with the usual sources of irritation for most Nigerians: our failed infrastructure, our failed government, but also by the incredible resilience of people who thrive despite the government, rather than because of it. I teach writing workshops in Lagos every summer, and it is amazing to me how many people apply, how many people are eager to write, to tell stories.

 

17:14

My Nigerian publisher and I have just started a non-profit called Farafina Trust, and we have big dreams of building libraries and refurbishing libraries that already exist and providing books for state schools that don’t have anything in their libraries, and also of organizing lots and lots of workshops, in reading and writing, for all the people who are eager to tell our many stories.

 

17:36

Stories matter. Many stories matter. Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign, but stories can also be used to empower and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people, but stories can also repair that broken dignity.

 

 

 

17:56

The American writer Alice Walker wrote this about her Southern relatives who had moved to the North. She introduced them to a book about the Southern life that they had left behind. “They sat around, reading the book themselves, listening to me read the book, and a kind of paradise was regained.”

 

18:17

I would like to end with this thought: That when we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise.

 

18:30

Thank you.

 

18:31

(Applause)

REFERENCE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the fifteenth Suggestion

“””””She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect. Teach her that we do not know – we cannot know – everything about life. Both religion and science have spaces for the things we do not know, and it is enough to make peace with that. “”””””

REFERENCE 5 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the fifteenth Suggestion

“”””” Tell her that some people are gay, and some are not. A little child has two daddies or two mummies because some people just do. Tell her that some people go to mosque and others go to church and others go to different places of worship and still others don’t worship at all, because that is just the way it is for some people. “””””

 

REFERENCE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the first Suggestion

“””””” Please do not think of it as ‘doing it all’. Our culture celebrates the idea of women who are able to ‘do it all’ but does not question the premise of that praise. I have no interest in the debate about women ‘doing it all’ because it is a debate that assumes that care-giving and domestic work are singularly female domains, an idea that I strongly reject. Domestic work and care-giving should be gender-neutral, and we should be asking not whether a woman can ‘do it all’ but how best to support parents in their dual duties at work and at home. “”””””

REFERENCE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the first Suggestion

“”””” People will selectively use ‘tradition’ to justify anything. Tell her that a double-income family is actually the true Igbo tradition because not only did mothers farm and trade before British colonialism, trading was exclusively done by women in some parts of Igbo land. “”””””

REFERENCE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eleventh Suggestion

“”””””Teach her to question our culture’s selective use of biology as ‘reasons’ for social norms. We often use biology to explain the privileges that men have, the most common reason being men’s physical superiority. It is of course true that men are in general physically stronger than women. But if we truly depended on biology as the root of social norms, then children would be identified as their mother’s rather than their father’s because when a child is born, the parent we are biologically – and incontrovertibly – certain of is the mother. We assume the father is who the mother says the father is. How many lineages all over the world are not biological, I wonder?

So teach Chizalum that biology is an interesting and fascinating subject, but she should never accept it as justification for any social norm. Because social norms are created by human beings, and there is no social norm that cannot be changed. “”””””

 

REFERENCE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”””””In every culture in the world, female sexuality is about shame. Even cultures that expect women to be sexy – like many in the West – still do not expect them to be sexual. Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another. “”””””

 

REFERENCE 10 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

 “”””””Let her know that slim white women are beautiful, and that non-slim, non-white women are beautiful. Let her know that there are many individuals and many cultures that do not find the narrow mainstream definition of beauty attractive. You will know your child best, and so you will know best how to affirm her own kind of beauty, how to protect her from looking at her own reflection with dissatisfaction. “””””””

OPINION 5

YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD BE FEMINIST SO THAT THEY CAN HAVE THE IDEA OF  EQUAL SHARE OF THE CARE WORK / HOUSE CHORES IN THE HOUSE

From cooking and cleaning, to fetching water and firewood or taking care of children and the elderly, women carry out at least two and a half times more unpaid household and care work than men. As a result, thousands of women and girls miss out on equal opportunities of going to school, or joining full-time paid work, or having enough time to rest!

Set the example by equally dividing all housework and childcare in your home. Involve boys in care work and household chores from an early age, along with girls!

According to telegraph

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11141910/36-household-chores-men-dont-bother-to-do.html

We have 36 household chores men don’t bother to do

  1.  Weekly clean
  2. Daily clean
  3.  Vacuuming
  4. Cleaning kitchen/bathroom
  5.  Heavy duty kitchen cleaning (oven/fridge)
  6.  Tidying up
  7. Washing clothes
  8. Washing bedding
  9.  Changing sheets
  10.  Ironing
  11.  Managing the family budget
  12.  Organising car insurance
  13.  Organising home insurance
  14.  Organising payment of utility bills
  15.  Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues
  16. Liaising with school/nursery over trips
  17. Being the first person called if there’s a problem at school/nursery
  18. Packing schoolbags
  19. Doing/supervising homework
  20. Arranging childcare
  21.  Arranging applications for primary/secondary school
  22.  Arranging play dates
  23.  Taking children to clubs
  24.  Organising birthday parties
  25. Buying clothes
  26. Organising Christmas
  27. Buying family presents/cards
  28.  Managing doctor/dentist/optician appointments
  29.  Looking after children at evenings and weekends
  30. Preparing activities for your partner to look after the children at evenings and weekends
  31.  Reading bedtime stories
  32.  Looking after poorly children
  33.  Taking time off work to look after poorly children
  34.  Settling children that wake in the night
  35.  Organising birthday presents for family members
  36.  Booking holidays

From the above list of what men don’t do, imagine it is shared 50/50, I guess the work load will be less for women.

Again if young boys and girls understand these things about house chores, a time will come when they get married they will share such domestic chores with their wives and children. In this process they are setting the example by equally dividing all housework and childcare in home. There by Involving boys in care work and household chores from an early age, along with girls!

Here are some references from Nigeria renowned FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi  to support my fifth opinion from her books and interviews.

REFERENCE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

”””” I know a woman who has the same degree and same job as her husband. When they get back from work, she does most of the housework, which is true for many marriages, but what struck me was that whenever he changed the baby’s diaper, she said thank you to him. What if she saw it as something normal and natural, that he should help care for his child? “”””

 

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I know a woman who hates domestic work, but she pretends that she likes it, because she has been taught that to be “good wife material,” she has to be—to use that Nigerian word—homely. And then she got married. And her husband’s family began to complain that she had changed. Actually, she had not changed. She just got tired of pretending to be what she was not. The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations. “””””

REFERENCE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the first Suggestion

 “”” I have no interest in the debate about women ‘doing it all’ because it is a debate that assumes that care-giving and domestic work are singularly female domains, an idea that I strongly reject. Domestic work and care-giving should be gender-neutral, and we should be asking not whether a woman can ‘do it all’ but how best to support parents in their dual duties at work and at home. ”””

REFERENCE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

”””” She can counter ideas about static ‘gender roles’ if she has been empowered by her familiarity with alternatives. If she knows an uncle who cooks well – and does so with indifference – then she can smile and brush off the foolishness of somebody who claims that ‘women must do the cooking.  ””””

 

REFERENCE 5 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

”””” I know a woman who has the same degree and same job as her husband. When they get back from work, she does most of the housework, which is true for many marriages, but what struck me was that whenever he changed the baby’s diaper, she said thank you to him. What if she saw it as something normal and natural, that he should help care for his child? “”””

REFERENCE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

 “””””The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned. Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally have. It is also a skill that can elude both men and women. We also need to question the idea of marriage as a prize to women, because that is the basis of these absurd debates. If we stop conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize. It is interesting to me how early the world starts to invent gender roles.”””””

 

REFERENCE 7(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third Suggestion

“”” There have been recent Nigerian social media debates about women and cooking, about how wives have to cook for husbands. It is funny, in the way that sad things are funny, that we are still talking about cooking as some kind of marriageability test for women. The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned. Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally have. It is also a skill that can elude both men and women   “””

 

REFERENCE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”” I know a woman who hates domestic work, but she pretends that she likes it, because  she has been taught that to be “good wife material,” she has to be—to use that Nigerian word—homely. And then she got married. And her husband’s family began to complain that she had changed. Actually, she had not changed. She just got tired of pretending to be what she was not. The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.

 Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically, but socialization exaggerates the differences. And then starts a self-fulfilling process.  ”””

 

REFERENCE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””“Take cooking, for example. Today, women in general are more likely to do housework than men— cooking and cleaning.  But why is that? Is it because women are born with a cooking gene or because over years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role? I was going to say that perhaps women are born with a cooking gene until I remembered that the majority of famous cooks in the world—who are given the fancy title of “chef”—are men. But what matters even more is our attitude, our mind-set. What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on interest instead of gender? I know a family who has a son and a daughter, a year apart in age, both brilliant at school. When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl, Go and cook Indomie noodles for your brother. The girl doesn’t like to cook Indomie, but she is a girl and she has to. What if the parents, from the beginning, taught both children to cook Indomie? Cooking, by the way, is a useful and practical life skill for a boy to have—I’ve never thought it made much sense to leave such a crucial thing—the ability to nourish oneself —in the hands of others. ””””

REFERENCE 10 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixths Suggestion

””””” Teach her to ask questions like: what are the things that women cannot do because they are women? Do these things have cultural prestige? If so, why are only men allowed to do the things that have cultural prestige? It is helpful, I think, to use everyday examples. Remember that television commercial we watched in Lagos, where a man cooks and his claps for him? True progress is when she doesn’t clap for him but just reacts to the food itself – she can either praise the food or not praise the food, just as he can praise hers or not praise hers, but what is sexist is that she is praising the fact that he has undertaken the act of cooking, praise that implies that cooking is an inherently female act. “”””

 

REFERENCE 11 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the second Suggestion

  1. Do it together. Remember in primary school we learned that a verb was a ‘doing’ word? Well, a father is as much a verb as a mother.
  2. Share child care equally. ‘Equally’ of course depends on you both, and you will have to work it out, paying equal attention to each person’s needs. It does not have to mean a literal fifty-fifty or a day-by-day score-keeping but you’ll know when the child-care work is equally shared. You’ll know by your lack of resentment. Because when there is true equality, resentment does not exist.
  1. You both made the choice to bring a child into the world, and the responsibility for that child belongs equally to you both. It would be different if you were a single mother, whether by circumstance or choice, because ‘doing it together’ would then not be an option. But you should not be a ‘single mother’ unless you are truly a single mother.
  1. My friend Nwabu once told me that because his wife left when his kids were young, he became ‘Mr. Mum’, by which he meant that he did the daily care-giving. But he was not being a ‘Mr. Mum’; he was simply being a dad.

 

 

REFERENCE 12 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” I know a family who has a son and a daughter, a year apart in age, both brilliant at school. When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl, Go and cook Indomie noodles for your brother. The girl doesn’t like to cook Indomie, but she is a girl and she has to. What if the parents, from the beginning, taught both children to cook Indomie?

Cooking, by the way, is a useful and practical life skill for a boy to have—I’ve never thought it made much sense to leave such a crucial thing—the ability to nourish oneself —in the hands of others. “”””””

This should give young boys and girls a little rethink about cooking and house/domestic chores. Which I personally are meant to be shared equally between the two partners or children. As for me (PATRICKREALSTORIES.WORDPRESS.COM) cooking, domestic chores- cleaning sweeping, mopping are supposed to be shared equally. Cooking and domestic chores was never meant for women. Anybody can cook and house chores whether male or female.

 

OPINION 6

YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD BE FEMINIST SO THAT THEY HAVE  THE PRIVILEGE TO WIDEN AND DIVERSIFY THEIR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT ROLE MODELS

Role models come in all shapes, sizes, genders, skin tones and cultural backgrounds. Encourage your children to embrace diversity, show them role models from different genders, ethnicity and colour. And remind them that they can be anything they want to be, regardless of their gender.

Some references from Nigeria renowned FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi  to support my sixth opinion from her books.

 

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the tenth Suggestion

”””Surround her with a village of aunties, women who have qualities you’d like her to admire. Talk about how much you admire them. Children copy and learn from example. Talk about what you admire about them. I, for example, particularly admire the African American feminist Florynce Kennedy. Some African women that I would tell her about are Ama Ata Aidoo, Dora Akunyili, Muthoni Likimani, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Taiwo Ajai-Lycett. There are so many African women who are sources of feminist inspiration. Because of what they have done and because of what they have refused to do. Like your grandmother, by the way, that remarkable, strong, sharp-tongued babe. “”””

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I used to look at my grandmother, a brilliant woman, and wonder what she would have been if she’d had the same opportunities as men during her youth. Today, there are more opportunities for women than there were during my grandmother’s time. Because of changes in policy and law, which are very important. ’”””””

REFERENCE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

 “”””” My great-grandmother, from stories I’ve heard, was a feminist. She ran away from the house of the man she did not want to marry and married the man of her choice. She refused, protested, spoke up when she felt she was being deprived of land and access because she was female. She did not know that word feminist. But it doesn’t mean she wasn’t one. More of us should reclaim that word. The best feminist I know is my brother Kene, who is also a kind, good-looking, and very masculine young man. My own definition is a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better. “””””

 

OPINION 7

YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD STOP THE IDEA OF BODY SHAMING

Our world is constructed in a way that makes us compare ourselves to the beauty standards set by the media, culture and society. We constantly measure ourselves against other people and feel judged by our physical appearance. Body shaming is a learned behaviour, so it’s important for parents to lead by example. Like the saying “”charity begins at home “””

Teenagers should be careful not to be critical of body image and therefore figuring unrealistic body standards. There young ones should know that they are not defined by how they look, but by how they act. It’s time we challenge societal constructs of beauty, perfection, and what constitutes a “normal” body.

Some references from Nigeria renowned FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi  to support my fourth opinion from her books and interviews.

REFERENCE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the fourth Suggestion

“”” But here is a sad truth: our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful women. We have been so conditioned to think of power as male that a powerful woman is an aberration. ”””

 

REFERENCE 2(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””“And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him. But what if we question the premise itself: Why should a woman’s success be a threat to a man? What if we decide to simply dispose of that word—and I don’t know if there is an English word I dislike more than this—emasculation“”””

 

REFERENCE 3(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys.

We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigerian-speak—a hard man. “””””

 

REFERENCE 4(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixth Suggestion

“”””””“Teach her, too, to question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be ‘revered’ and  ‘championed’ – a sentiment that is all too common. Tell Chizalum that women actually don’t need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women needing to be ‘championed and revered’ because they are women. It makes me think of chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness.     “”””””

 

REFERENCE 5(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”“””” Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. A man and a woman are doing the same job, with the same qualifications, and the man is paid more because he is a man. So in a literal way, men rule the world. This made sense a thousand years ago. Because human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most important attribute for survival; the physically stronger person was more likely to lead. And men in general are physically stronger. (There are of course many exceptions.) Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much.         “””””””

REFERENCE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically, but socialization exaggerates the differences. And then starts a self-fulfilling process. Take cooking, for example. Today, women in general are more likely to do housework than men—cooking and cleaning. But why is that? Is it because women are born with a cooking gene or because over years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role? I was going to say that perhaps women are born with a cooking gene until I remembered that the majority of famous cooks in the world—who are given the fancy title of “chef”—are men. ”””””

REFERENCE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the twelfth Suggestion

“”” In every culture in the world, female sexuality is about shame. Even cultures that expect women to be sexy – like many in the West – still do not expect them to be sexual. The shame we attach to female sexuality is about control. Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another. If the justification for controlling women’s bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was ‘women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do’. Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be ‘covered up’ to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men. “”””

 

REFERENCE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS   “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Eleventh Suggestion

“”””” We often use biology to explain the privileges that men have, the most common reason being men’s physical superiority. It is of course true that men are in general physically stronger than women. But if we truly depended on biology as the root of social norms, then children would be identified as their mother’s rather than their father’s because when a child is born, the parent we are biologically – and incontrovertibly – certain of is the mother. We assume the father is who the mother says the father is. How many lineages all over the world are not biological, I wonder? ””””

REFERENCE 9 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

 FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.) What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not “the boy has to pay,” but rather, “whoever has more should pay.” Of course, because of their historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today. But if we start raising children differently, then in fifty years, in a hundred years, boys will no longer have the pressure of proving their masculinity by material means. But by far the worst thing we do to males—by making them feel they have to be hard —is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is. “”””

REFERENCE 10 (INTERNET/SITE-INTERVIEW)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””why men have a higher rate of dying by suicide “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

  1. https://m.guardian.ng/features/how-patriarchy-could-be-spiking-rate-of-suicide-among-men/
  2. https://dailypost.ng/2018/09/12/men-die-suicide-chimamanda-adichie/

Here is her speech:

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi :  “””“Both men and women suffer from the illnesses that lead to suicide but it is men that have a much higher rate of dying by suicide.

“Why? Because men are socialized to suppress so many human parts of themselves, men are socialized not to ask for help, men are socialized to be afraid of fear, men are socialized not to show vulnerability.

“From the moment we tell a little boy that ‘boys don’t cry’ or we tell a hurting teenager to ‘man up’ we are creating an adult man who will be cheated of the full range of his emotions. So, while men benefit from patriarchy, they also suffer from it. ”””””

 

REFERENCE 11 (INTERNET/SITE-INTERVIEW)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”” men were not inherently bad or evil. They were merely privileged “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

Here is her speech:

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi :

“””” And I knew that men were not inherently bad or evil. They were merely privileged. And I knew that privilege blinds because it is the nature of privilege to blind.

I knew from this personal experience, from the class privilege I had of growing up in an educated family, that it sometimes blinded me, that I was not always as alert to the nuances of people who were different from me.

And you, because you now have your beautiful Wellesley degree, have become privileged, no matter what your background. That degree, and the experience of being here, is a privilege. Don’t let it blind you too often. Sometimes you will need to push it aside in order to see clearly.  “””””

 

REFERENCE 12 (INTERNET/SITE-SPEECH)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”” men were not inherently bad or evil.They were merely privileged “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://time.com/3921492/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-graduation-commencement-wellesley/

Here is her speech:

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi :

“”””” Write television shows in which female strength is not depicted as remarkable but merely normal. Teach your students to see that vulnerability is a HUMAN rather than a FEMALE trait.

Commission magazine articles that teach men HOW TO KEEP A WOMAN HAPPY. Because there are already too many articles that tell women how to keep a man happy. And in media interviews make sure fathers are asked how they balance family and work. In this age of ‘parenting as guilt,’ please spread the guilt equally. Make fathers feel as bad as mothers. Make fathers share in the glory of guilt.

Campaign and agitate for paid paternity leave everywhere in America.

Hire more women where there are few. But remember that a woman you hire doesn’t have to be exceptionally good. Like a majority of the men who get hired, she just needs to be good enough. “””””

 

 

With the above 7 opinions and references from interviews, ted talks and books by FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi , I believe am able to make my readers and viewers understand why young boys and girls should be feminist.

And, if after reading and you believe in equality, then you are a feminist by virtue of that. One should not get stuck on the word itself, but rather should think about the ideals and values attributed to the word.

Finally, Feminism is not a dirty, scary word that should be used to insult or attack someone, but rather should be a means of empowering all young boys and girls in the society.

COMPETING INTERESTS

I declare that I have no financial or personal relationships that may have inappropriately influenced me in writing this article. I write this articles based on my experience with those men/people who have such archaic mentality of linking feminism and misandry together.

QUESTIONS FOR MY READER/VIEWS TO PONDER ON:

  1. What are your own contributions, views and insights on the articles?
  1. Do your beliefs and behaviours support equality? If yes or no, explain
  2. Do you believe that young boys and girls deserve equal rights and equal opportunities? If yes or no, explain
  3. If you believe in equality for women, can you explain why?
  4. How was the situation of girls/women in the past before the coming of feminism? Was it fair, healthy, good or bad?
  5. Why was feminism brought to the society/world?
  6. Was feminism efficient to change woman’s life?  If yes or no, explain

 

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor/web developer

University of Benin

www.facebook.com/patrickstories

Credited to :

  1. People and organization that gives the awareness about feminism and feminist in the society
  2.  Feminist who try to fight for there right and inculcate the idea of gender equality to young boys and girls through out the world. 

 

2 comments

    • Thanks for the comments. I appreciate your time and effort used in reading my articles. Thanks again.

      Some questions put across you where not answered. I wish to see a good inspirational answer to those questions.

      1. What are your own contributions, views and insights on the articles?

      2. Do your beliefs and behaviours support equality? If yes or no, explain

      3. Do you believe that young boys and girls deserve equal rights and equal opportunities? If yes or no, explain

      4. If you believe in equality for women, can you explain why?

      5. How was the situation of girls/women in the past before the coming of feminism? Was it fair, healthy, good or bad?

      6. Why was feminism brought to the society/world?
      Was feminism efficient to change woman’s life?  If yes or no, explain

      Please let me know all your reactions, views and insights in the comment box below!

       You are welcome

      #PATRICKSTORIES
      Peace ✌and Love ❤

      Like

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