There is a saying on” Stand By Me” that stuck with me ever since I heard it..
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve”
I’d always promised myself that I wouldn’t let that quote be the same for me, I tried to tell myself that actually, I would have the same friends when I’m older,having children who play together, and looking back at the school days. But reality is, is that it really doesn’t always happen. And it’s OK.
There comes a time in your life, when you’ve grown up with friends and maybe you were put together because of family circles, or you became friends because you played the same sport, or you took dance class together. You had the same interests when you were ten, and you liked doing the same thing. You liked the house they lived in, and enjoyed cycling together on the weekend. But as you get older, your views and interests change. You don’t have the time to dance on a weekend, or spend Friday nights in the club because you have responsibilities.
You move away, because you meet new people and you realise that you were friends because your parents were.
What you once had in common with a friend at thirteen, may not be quite the same as you do when you’re twenty seven.
You begin to lead and live different lifestyle, and all of a sudden those messages exchanged daily, turn into once a week, and then before long the ‘Hey Stranger’ comment appears, and you realise in that moment that months have passed.
And just like that, friendships fade. It is no longer there.
And you question why, you wonder how it got to that stage.
Whether there was more effort from one party more, or if they disliked you for some reason, or if they simply just didn’t want to hang around with you anymore.
And it can hurt. But it doesn’t reflect on you as a person, or as a friend. And it doesn’t mean that you are disliked. It’s just simply that sometimes, some things, we cannot always control.
We have certain chapters in our life that end, to begin new ones.
Friends come and go. Friends change.
Only you’re expected to feel nothing. Not know a reason why the friendship fell apart, and just continue without having an explanation and quietly avoiding the subject again.
Brushing it off when questioned why you two parted ways, and making excuses about living away/change in lifestyle, when all along, you just don’t quite know yourself either. There is no answer. Except life.
“It might take a while to realise but eventually you’ll find the good in goodbye.”
I will like to ask a simple question for my fellow readers and viewers.
1. What is your own views and contributions on this articles?
2. Are you ok with the reason given by your friend about the frienship breakup?
Please let me know all your reactions, views and insights in the comment box below!
Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka
University of Benin
Credited to :
those who thrive to keep friendship and stand by me to the end no matter the good or bad side.