A few days ago I was taking my usual walk  to where i have to eat my dinner meal ….and I came across  two young couple who wedded last year 2014, now they are accusing each other of infidelity. I tried swallowing my akpo through my throat but it did not ……i was angry at what i saw  that nite i could not eat.

With little anger, i order for snack ,that was how i ate my dinner that nite. The issues is that they are a year old in the marriage and they are having problem like that…… ….whoaaaaaaaaa…..

it gave rise to the question of  how soon is too soon to move on from a dissolved relationship or marriage?I sometimes wonder if it’s no longer cool to spend time healing.

The last time I experienced a major heartbreak I couldn’t even eat.  She break up with me because i was chatting with her friend on phone(Facebook to be precise).

I lost major pounds on the scale within one week  I kept staring at every wall like I was in a psychiatric ward, and I refused to take a shower or even look like a human being.

It did not occur to me even once to get up, shake my body and take my routine exercise  and get to moving on with life until weeks had passed.

I’m now beginning to think I was a little extra back then, and maybe that’s not how it’s done these days. When you break up with…… how long are you permitted to stay single, mourning the relationship or the guy or the girl…or the benefits of dating him which I’m assuming are now off the table since y’all broke up right?

What about the marriage aspect…….breakup is different from dissolved marriage… Which occur almost everyday….as i speak to you now….one is already happening in my area……

What about when it comes to a dissolved marriage, how soon can either party move on? I’m asking from a theoretical point of view and also an ethical stand point – if any.

I’m actually assuming a really, really bad break up that involved harsh words, throwing of furniture (Incredible Hulks,  superman fight……lol    una well done o), possible physical abuse, etc. is devoid of morals anyway so maybe we shouldn’t even worry about that.

Should we even bring a religious stand into this at all?

From my experience, a breakup is quite heartbreaking- an emotional turmoil. It is a commotion of the best worst feelings anyone could experience.

I kind of believe this is true if the relationship was meaningful to you, and you loved your partner .when I come across someone who just ended a relationship seemingly looking like they are having the time of their lives, I do an inward double take, side eye, and say to myself “humm….it sure didn’t take you long to get your groove back”.

I, however, wonder if it’s all a fantasy…..some may be surprise….how could she or he break up with me….am i not sexy..handsome …Good looking……..that’s break up for you……

Could one be in so much pain, that revenge is suddenly the Panadol to heartache?

Some go a long way committing suicide…that too bad ………

Perhaps there is no revenge and it is indeed quite possible to bounce back in what seems like a nano-second( physic term- smallest seconds) from a dissolved relationship.

Maybe it is quite possible to not even think about the other person at all; once the goodbyes are said and the doors closed, that’s it.

Bye bye bye……lol lol lol      I mean,after all, memories of all those times spent together, meals eaten together, trips taken together, inside jokes, naughty private messages, dreams shared or killed-if you dated a dream killer.

Even intimacy could be forgotten just like that….really?

I’m sure my ideology of the healing process makes sense to me alone, but just in case I’m not the only one out there I’ll like to know: after a dissolved relationship how soon do you think one should move on to the next relationship? Does it even matter?

Have a nice day….try and find Mr right or Mrs right

engr kogwuonye patrick onyeka


  1. Thank you for sharing!!.. only your heart knows the answer to your question… 🙂

    “It is not easy to find happiness within ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” Agnes Repplier

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The only thing I can say, is I hope nobody ever gives up on love. There is no time reference for when you will meet the right person.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi dear, due to your awesome blog and outstanding information, I nominated you for the Liebster award for bloggers. Ill be happy if you like to participate. Bellow you’ll find a link to the post with the nomination.

    Liked by 1 person

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